


Silence (5sos ot4)

by BangtanDimples



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Bottom Calum, Bottom Michael, Eating Disorders, I don't know how to tag... I really suck at it, M/M, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Abuse, Stuttering, Top Ashton, Top Luke, Triggers, also on Wattpad, i hope this is good, insecure calum, please let this be good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-16 22:28:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3505085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BangtanDimples/pseuds/BangtanDimples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was silent. He didn't like talking. </p>
<p>Being abused could do that to a person. And having a lisp and a stutter didn't help.<br/>He hadn't said a word in so long, but no one cared. Everything was better in a world where he didn't talk.</p>
<p>He probably could've lived like this until the day he finally decided to kill himself. Until he meets three people who decide to change that...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Still not talking freak?"

"Why even bother coming to school? You're already too stupid to talk. Its not like you're gonna learn anything!"

"Why haven't you killed yourself already you mute fag?!"

Calum walked down the hall to his locker, trying to hold back his tears. He should be used to this by now. It happened everyday. Here and at home.

He made it to his locker, fortunately not shedding any tears, and pulled out his books that he needed. He clutched them to his chest and scurried down the hall only to be pushed over.

He hurriedly tried to gather his books without looking who ever the person was in the eye. But a hand touched his and it made his heart race. He slowly looked up and saw the most stunning green eyes and surprisingly red hair. The boy gave him a tiny smile before standing up with some of Calum's books in his hands. He handed the books over before speaking.

"Hey... sorry about that. I wasn't watching where I was going. And are you new here by any chance?"

Calum slowly shook his head and clutched the books to his chest tighter. He was hoping he wasn't blushing, but he could tell he was from the heat rising to his cheeks.

"Really? I've never seen you. And I'm sure I would've remember a face as beautiful as yours," the boy continued. Calum's blush deepened. Red head stuck out his hand. "I'm Michael... and you are?"

Calum bit his lip and shook his head, hoping Michael would catch on. He did.

"Oh! You're that guy that doesn't talk aren't you. I am so sorry! I've heard about you. People are mean," he said, taking the kiwi boy by surprise.

Calum was used to people walking off after they figured out who he was. Michael continued talking.

"Well umm... do you have a cell phone. You can just type out what you have to say there," he suggested and Calum nodded pulling his iPhone out of his back pocket.

He opened the notes page and quickly typed out his name. Michael read it.

"Is it Cay-lum?" Calum shook his head. "So... Cal-um?" Michael tried again. Calum nodded. He soon came to the conclusion that this was probably a dare. No one would willingly talk to him. He wondered how long Michael would keep this act up.

"Well Calum what class do you have first. I could walk you there if you want," Michael then offered. Calum decided to play along and showed Michael his schedule. Michael looked up at him with a smile on his cherry red lips. "Great! I have History also. But I've never seen you in there." Michael furrowed his eyebrows.

I got my schedule changed yesterday.

Calum typed and showed it to Michael. He then checked the time. There were still about fifteen minutes left till they had to be in class.

"Well... we still have some time before we have to be in class. Sooo... do you want to meet my boyfriends?" Michael asked giving Calum a shy smile.

Boyfriends... as in more than one? 

Calum thought but didn't question it. He let Michael lead him down the hall and back outside.

They stopped once they reached a tree with two boys sitting under it. One was really tall with piercing electric blue eyes and blonde hair. The other was tall but slightly shorter than the blue eyed boy, and had beautiful hazel eyes and curly blondish hair. He was also wearing wide black rimmed glasses which Calum found adorable.

"Hey, Mikey," the boy with the glasses said in a chirpy and surprisingly higher pitched voice than Calum expected. It was adorable. "Who's your friend?" He asked, giving Calum a shy smile and tiny wave, his sweater covering most if his hand.

Michael reached out for the curly haired boy, gesturing for him to give him a hug. Michael pulled the shorter boy into a short but sweet kiss, making him blush, before answering.

"Ashton, Luke, this is Calum. Calum these are my boyfriends," Michael introduced. Ashton gave him another shy smile and tiny wave, hiding behind Michael a little.

"Wait... you mean Calum Hood? What the hell Mikey, why would you even talk to him?" Luke, the blonde boy, asked, frowning. Calum's hopeful heart shattered.

"Don't you dare Lucas. He probably goes through enough shit anyway. Don't make it worse for him," Michael said, glaring harshly at Luke. Luke only shook his head.

"This kid is a freak, Michael! He doesn't ta-"

Michael cut him off. "Stop it! Ashton used to be the same way, and you know it! Don't try to make up excuses." Ashton whimpered and hid his face in Michael's neck. "I'm sorry baby. I just had to make a point," he whispered to him.

But by now, Calum could feel the tears threatening to spill.

It's okay Michael... I'll just go.

He typed out and Michael took the phone to read it. But before Michael could even protest, Luke piped up.

"See the freak can't speak for himself. He has to type it on his phone. That's pretty sad, don't you think?" He taunted.

That hit Calum hard. Harder than it should have because he hears these things every day. But this hurt. He looked down, letting a single year slip before running off to class. There were still five minutes left, but he didn't think he could be there any longer.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Calum heard Michael scream at Luke as he was running off. "Don't you think he's gotten enough of that?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About three minute later the first bell rang. A sea of students came pouring into the class room. Among those students, Calum saw Michael, Ashton, and a teary eyed and red faced Luke. Ashton locked eyes with him and gave him and apologetic look. Calum shook his head and gave him a sad smile back.

Calum remembers what Michael said about Ashton being the same way in the past. He hoped the small, sweet boy never had to go through any of the things he has.

Calum also wondered why Luke looked like he had been crying. Luke seems like nothing could make him cry. He made other people cry. But Calum knew Michael probably told him something that made him upset.

Class started and went bye and the entire time, Calum was focused on his work trying to avoid any accidental eye contact with either of the three boys. When the bell rang, he quickly rushed out of his seat and out the door, only to be grabbed around his waist and pulled back by strong arms. He squealed in surprise and turned in the person's arms, only to come face to face with a certain curly haired boy.

"Hey. It's okay. I just wanted to apologize for Luke's behaviour earlier. It was completely uncalled for and childish. I don't know what came over him, but I'm really sorry," Ashton said, giving Calum a small sad smile.

Calum relaxed in Ashton's arms and nodded, biting his lip. Ashton beamed. " Okay. Michael also had a talk with Luke. It wasn't pretty. But they both have English next. Mikey told me you got your schedule changed, so what do you have next? I have Maths."

Calum pulled out his phone and simply typed: same. Ashton's smile grew. "Yay! Now I'm not alone in that class anymore!" And with that Ashton dragged them both away to their next class...


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the day went by quickly. And luckily, Calum had Ashton (who he had grown to like...a lot) in all of his new classes. Ashton was really sweet and fun and he could care less that Calum didn't talk. He even decided to leave Michael and Luke at lunch after he noticed how Calum tried to hide behind him when he saw Luke. He sat with Calum instead and texted Michael saying how he was sorry he didn't sit with his boyfriends today. Michael only replied with a simple 'okay, I love you' and 'tell Calum I said hello'. This day was very simple and nothing exciting had even happened, but this was honestly the best day Calum has had in a long time.

Now, Calum and Ashton were sitting in the same spot Calum had met him at his morning. They had one last class period, but a note on the door had stated that they wouldn't be having that class today due to the teacher being absent and not finding a substitute on time. Ashton had just gotten done talking about something that happened with him, Michael, and Luke once. When the story was finished Ashton watched Calum for a while.

He took in everything he could about the silent boy the whole day he had been with him. He looked at Calum's appearance and the depressed look he constantly had in his eyes that seemed to slowly disappear as he had been talking to him. He looked at how the kiwi boy was dressed: an oversized grey sweater that was perfect for this fall weather, black skinny jeans that might as well have been tights, and his black and white Vans. He looked at his hair, which was completely black other than the few blonde highlights in the front.

But most of all, he noticed how Calum acted. He noticed the little things he did, some which were adorable, some that made him worry. He noticed the way Calum would hide half of his face with one sleeve covered hand and close his eyes when he was thinking. He noticed how quickly Calum would pull down the sleeves of his sweater if they accidently came up. He even noticed how tense Calum would get if someone touched him, no matter how gentle the touch was.

Overall, Ashton thought Calum was beautiful. He thought he was extremely adorable and really nice and sweet. He didn't understand how anyone could even think about hurting this boy, but he's seen it happen. Only once in person. But that one time was one of the worst. Calum ended up having a panic attack and nearly passed out due to lack of oxygen that time. No one tried to help him. If anything they just tried to make it worse. Ashton regretted not doing anything that day.

Ashton knew he was staring. He couldn't get enough of how beautiful the boy in front of him was. So it didn't surprise him when Calum nudged his phone forward for Ashton to read.

Why are you staring at me?

It said. Ashton smiled sweetly at him. "I'm staring because you are gorgeous, darling," he said, a hint of fondness in his voice. Calum blushed furiously and looked down.

Please don't say things you don't mean...

Calum typed and hid his face with his sweater covered hands. He could feel the tears threatening to fall again from Ashton's words. Even though he knew Ashton didn't mean it, no one had ever bothered saying anything like that to him before. He felt a hand gently tug his own away from his face, but he looked away.

"Hey. No. Don't do that," Ashton whispered, tapping Calum's chin, forcing Calum to look him in the eyes. "You are beautiful okay? Don't act like you're not. Not only on the outside but on the inside especially. You're just too precious and sweet and just beautiful Calum. Never let anyone tell you that you aren't, okay."

Calum nodded slowly and looked down again, a few tears slipping from his eyes. No one's ever told him something like this before and he didn't know how to act. He felt Ashton sit down beside him and pull him into his lap. He buried his face in Ashton's neck and cried silently. His breathing soon began to get heavier and Ashton must have noticed because he started whispering sweet nothings in his ear until he eventually calmed back down.

Calum pulled back and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Ashton turned his head towards him again. "Are you okay now?" he asked, concerned. Calum nodded and wrapped his arms around Ashton's neck. He saw Ashton's eyes search his face for a moment before he asked, "Can I kiss you?"

Calum's heart began to race. He held up a finger signalling Ashton to wait and quickly typed away.

Ashton... I'm scared. I haven't had my first kiss yet. I kind of thought I never would... and wouldn't that be cheating. You already have Michael and Luke.

Ashton gave him another fond smile and linked his arms around Calum's almost too tiny waist. "Well, no it wouldn't be cheating. Because this is already a three way realtionship, we all came to an agreement that if we found someone who seemed okay enough to be in our relationship we can make a move on them. Which is why Michael brought you to meet us in the first place. He's been texting me all day to make sure you've been okay with me and that nothing bad has happened to you. But as long as our relationship never exceeds four people, we'll be okay.

"And I think it's adorable that you haven't had your first kiss yet. And of course you will have one. You also don't have to be scared. And if, in the future, you allow me to be your first kiss, I promise it will be special. Hopefully, and I'm sorry about how cliche this sounds, but hopefully you'll feel sparks. Because that means we actually have a connection."

Calum bit his lip and nodded thoughtfully. He picked up his phone again, his hands shaking.

Okay... I think I'll be okay if you kiss me...

Ashton read the note and looked Calum in his eyes. "What? Cal... I don't want to pressure you into doing something you're not ready for. Are you sure about this?" Calum took a deep breath and nodded more firmly this time. He wanted to speak to let Ashton know he was positive, but he couldn't risk that. His voice along with his lisp and stutter were already bad. He didn't want to show Ashton any more flaws than he's already seen.

Ashton nodded. He cautiously started moving forward. He could smell Calum's minty breath as he leaned in closer. "Are you sure you want this?" He asked once more. Calum nodded and tightened his arms around Ashton's neck. 

Ashton leaned the rest of the way in and softly connected their lips together. 

Calun nearly gasped at the shocks he felt run through him. Ashton's lips were pressed against his in a closed mouth kiss. He let Ashton guide him through the kiss. Ashton slowly started moving his lips. Calum moved his lips following Ashton. He was in complete bliss. He never expected to have his first kiss, let alone for it to be this good. At least he hoped it was good. They kept this up for a few seconds, both feeling ecstatic about it, tingles running through their veins. Calum let out a soft whimper, the first sound he had made since they met.

Ashton pulled away. To him the kiss was perfect, but this was Calum's first. He looked at the boy, who was red faced and breathing heavily. "Was it okay, Cally? Did you enjoy it?"

Calum gave Ashton a shy smile and nodded. Ashton beamed. "That's great, babe. So your first kiss was nice? Thank God." Ashton pecked Calum on the lips again, but soon deepened the kiss again. When he pulled away, Calum could honestly say he felt happy. He couldn't even begin to remember the last time he felt this happy.

A small giggle escaped his lips and he slapped a hand over his mouth, but Ashton moved it away. "That was adorable Calum. I wouldn't mind hearing that little giggle more often." 

Calum nodded, then, deciding he wanted one more kiss, pouted at Ashton, who caught on quickly to what Calum wanted. "Of course, darling," he responded and gave him another kiss, both smiling into this one.

And yes. Calum could easily say this had been the best day of his life...


	3. Chapter 3

The last class period had finally ended. Ashton had texted Luke and Michael explaining that he and Calum didn't have a teacher in their last class period; therefore they had an extra free period today. Lucky ducks...

Michael and Luke walked towards their spot where they knew their boyfriend and Calum would be. But Michael stopped them in their tracks.

Michael pulled the smaller boy closer to him with one arm so that their hips were touching. He gave Luke a quick peck on the lips and looked him in his shiny blue eyes.

"When we get there, I want you to apologize to Calum, okay baby? You remember the talk we had earlier right?" He asked. Luke nodded slowly, tears forming in his eyes. Michael kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry baby, but what you said was wrong and you know it was. You treated him the same way people used to treat you before you moved here. And you still get that way sometimes. You won't say a word to anyone. Now, I didn't mean to bring back bad memories, but promise you'll never ever say something like that to anyone again."

Luke hooked their pinkies together. "I'm sorry and I promise," he whispered quietly. Michael smiled and kissed Luke one more time.

"Alright. Let's go find the other two."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they got to the spot, they both 'awww'ed at what they saw.

Ashton was sat with his back against the tree, legs spread out in front of him. Calum was in his lap, head laying on Ashton's shoulder and Ashton's arms were wrapped around his waist. It was adorable honestly.

They walked towards the two slowly, not wanting to ruin the moment. Ashton, hearing their heavy footsteps, looked up at them and smiled.

"Hey guys. How are you?" he asked, always the polite one. Calum looked up at them too and gave them a shy smile, it faltering some once he noticed Luke.

Luke saw this and instantly felt terrible. He new he had to try to gain the quiet boy's trust. Michael, as always, was the first one to speak up.

"We are both great. But, Ashy, you and I are gonna go put everyone's bags in the car. Calum if you want you can come over my house with us today or you we can drop you off at your house. It's pretty cold and you shouldn't be walking. But first you and Luke are going to talk it out... erm... bad wording... Luke is going to apologize. We'll be back," he announced as Calum slipped out of Ashton's lap. Michael pulled Ashton to his feet and they walked off, leaving the other two boys alone.

Luke cautiously sat down beside Calum. He looked at the kiwi boy and noticed how he was slightly edging away from him. Luke felt guilt run through him.

"Calum..." he started in a shaky breath. Calum's head snapped up and they looked at each other for a few seconds before Luke spoke up again. "Calum, I'm so sorry for how I acted this morning. What I said was really rude and I regret it so much... I really do. Do you believe me?" He asked. Calum slightly nodded, still not knowing if he should or not.

Luke sighed. "I'm going to be honest with you. The reason I said those things was because I used to be the same way. I still get like that sometimes. I guess you just... reminded me of myself. I hate myself when I get like that, but physically can't force any words out and it made me want to hate you as well. I know that isn't an excuse for how I acted, but can you please forgive me?" Luke asked with pleading eyes.

Calum only stared at him for a while, before finally deciding Luke was actually being serious and nodded his head. Luke gave him a shy smile.

"Thank you. I thought you were gonna hate me forever. Can I have a hug... please?" He asked, extending his arms out to Calum.

Calum slowly nodded and inched towards Luke. Luke wrapped his long, bony arms around Calum and pulled him closer. Calum melted in his arms and hugged him back. Calum had to admit, this felt nice.

They stayed like that until they heard footsteps approaching them. They pulled away, both giving each other tiny smiles, and looked up to see Ashton and Michael waiting.

"So you guys made up I see," Michael says smiling. Luke and Calum glanced at each other quickly and nodded, both giggling. 

"Good. I feel like you two will be great friends. Now we should probably be leaving, there aren't many people left here."

They all walked to the car, got in (Michael driving, Calum in the passenger seat, and Luke and Ashton in the back) and drove out of the school's student parking lot towards Michael's house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The reason they chose to go to Michael's house was because Michael's parents left two days ago to go on a two week business trip to New Zealand. They trusted him enough to leave him here alone for those two weeks. But the neighbors agreed to come and check to make sure everything's okay every other day. His parents send him eighty dollars a day to buy things he needs like food for dinner (though they knew he would probably order pizza almost every day and would probably try to feed his friends as well) and lunch money or other things he my need. Michael also had to agree to call them at least three times a week himself. He was even surprised that they trusted him enough for this, not that they had a reason not to of course.

They pulled up to the modern style two story white house. Michael stopped the car and was about to say something but forgot what it was when he saw Luke and Calum fast asleep in their seats. He smiled fondly and locked eyes with Ashton. They both silently agreed to carry the sleeping boys in the house themselves.

Michael went to unlock the front door and Ashton unbuckled Luke's seat belt. Michael came back and did the same with Calum. They carefully picked the light weighed boys up and took them inside. 

"My room," Michael whispered to Ashton once they were inside. Ashton nodded and they made their way up the stairs. Michael kicked open the door to his light grey walled room (not that you could tell from all the band posters covering the walls) and they laid both boys on the bed. 

"Where's Lukey's penguin?" Ashton whispered to Michael, who held up a finger and ran to his closet. He came back with a small plush penguin and laid it on Luke's chest. He instantly clutched it closer to him and curled up into a ball, still asleep.

Ashton and Michael went back downstairs and talked, waiting for the others to wake up. They talked about whatever came to mind, specifically Ashton's kissing Calum, for at least 30 minutes, until Ashton brought up a serious situation.

"Michael, I'm really worried about Luke," Ashton announced. Michael gave him a questioning look.

"Why?" he asked. He hadn't noticed anything weird about him today. 

Ashton sighed. "Well... I know Luke has anorexia, but when I was carrying him, he felt... lighter than he normally does. He looks paler and skinnier too. Do you think his dad has started doing... you know... to him again?" he asked worriedly. 

Michael opened his mouth to answer, but stopped himself when he glanced up behind Ashton and saw a teary eyed Luke in the doorway, clutching his penguin in one hand. 

"Come here, baby. What happened?" Ashton said when he turned and saw Luke standing there. Luke walked over and sat between Ashton and Michael. Ashton shook his head and pulled Luke into his lap.

Luke buried his face in Ashton's neck and whimpered. "I'm sorry. It was just a bad dream," he whispered so quietly they could barely hear him.

"It's okay darling. Was it about..." Michael started but trailed off. Luke nodded. 

"You wanna talk about it, love?" Ashton asked. Luke shook his head and sighed.

"Okay, well I should probably go check on Calum. I'll be back guys," said Michael.

As he walked up the stairs he thought

Yep...there is definitely something Luke isn't telling us...


	4. Chapter 4

Michael made his way up the stairs and into his bedroom. He knew the kiwi boy would probably have a mini freak out once he woke up in a foreign room if no one were in there with him. He had to check up on him.

When he opened the door, he found Calum still asleep, his knees curled up to his chest. 

Michael went over to one of his drawers and pulled out a blanket. He tiptoed back over to Calum so that he wouldn't wake him up, and was about to drape the blanket over him before he saw something that caught his eye...

He thought about waking the smaller boy up to talk about it, but decided against that. Calum probably wouldn't want to talk to Michael about that until he trusted him and knew him well enough.

Michael simply covered Calum with the fluffy blanket and walked out of the room. Calum looked exhausted, even while sleeping, so he just let him sleep.

While walking downstairs he heard Ashton and Luke talking quietly in the entertainment room. 

"...doing this, Lukey. You know how unhealthy this is," Ashton was pleading.

"I know, Ash. I'm trying. I really am, but it's really hard sometimes. I just can't help it. I don't think about it really... I just... start doing it again. And what he says and does doesn't help either," Luke poured out, sniffling every few seconds.

"It's okay, darling. Please don't cry. When you cry it makes me want to cry. You'll get better. Mikey and I are here for you... and I'm sure now that you and Calum are on good terms, he's here for you too," Ashton tried to comfort. 

Michael walked into the room. Ashton was holding Luke on his lap, trying to calm the boy's crying but letting a few of his own tears slip instead. 

Michael just watched sadly. It was times like these when he felt extremely selfish. He hadn't been through half of the things his boyfriends and hopefully new friend have been through in his 17 years of life. He's never had abusive parents or eating disorders. He's never self harmed or even thought about it because he hadn't had a reason to. His boyfriends have. The boy whom he had grown new feelings for has as well. He didn't have to ask to know because he knew how to spot someone broken from a mile away since he met Ashton and Luke. Michael felt really selfish. And sometimes... sometimes he wished he could take away their pain and keep it himself, just so that they wouldn't have to deal with it.

Michael walked over to the couch. He say down and rested his head on Ashton's shoulder, snuggling into his side. "Are you guys alright?" he asked quietly. He felt Ashton nod. 

"Yeah. We're alright now. You worry too much babe," Ashton said, turning a bit and kissing Michael's forhead.

"I just want you guys to be okay," Michael whispered. It silent after that. They all sat in each other's presence, enjoying their time together.

They sat there like that for at least ten minutes before Luke spoke up.

"We should go check on Calum, guys. He's been asleep for a while," he said. "I'll go this time." He got up from Ashtons lap and walked up the stairs to Michael's room.

He opened the door quietly and peeped inside, finding Calum still asleep. He was curled up under a blanket, one hand over his tummy and the other gripping the corner of the pillow his head was lying on. Luke thought it was adorable and smiled to himself.

Then Calum started stirring. He rolled onto his back first, then back over to his side. He did a kitten like yawn and rubbed his eyes. Then he sat up and slowly opened his eyes, glancing around the room quickly before spotting Luke in the doorway. 

Luke opened the door wider and walked in and over to the bed.

He sat down and gave Calum a tiny smile, opening his arms for him. Calum gave him a barely noticeable shy smile back and crawled into Luke's arms. He laid his head on Luke's shoulder and took a deep breath, feeling comfortable in the boy's arms. 

"Hello, love. Did you have a nice nap?" Luke asked. Calum nodded and wrapped his arms around Luke's waist feeling his hips bones under his palms. Calum couldn't help but worry about that. 

Luke continued speaking. "Well, Mikey, Ash, and I are all downstairs. You want to join us?"

Calum nodded. They stood up, and Luke led him downstairs to the room everyone else was in. 

He was greeted with a smile from Ashton and a half wave from Michael, who looked like he was nearly asleep, with his head still on Ashton's shoulder.

He gave them both a wave back, and Luke guided them over to the couch.

"So what are we doing now?" Michael whispered, trying not doze off. 

"We should probably do our homework. Tomorrow's Friday, but I think it would be better to go ahead and turn it all in," Ashton said, wrapping his arms around Michael's waist and pulling him into his lap. He could tell his kitten needed a nap.

"Awww. But I don't wanna do homework. Luke and I don't have to turn in any work until Tuesday. Can we just do it over the weekend? I'm sleepy," Michael whined, burying his face in Ashton's neck.

Ashton gave him a fond look. "Fine. Calum and I don't have to turn anything until Monday anyway. We'll just do it over the weekend. And can't you stay awake longer? If you go to sleep now, you'll most likely stay up all night playing Fifa and whatever else and try to sleep all day in class tomorrow." Ashton reasoned with the red haired boy. He felt Michael nod but he didn't move from his position.

Calum and Luke just watched the two, mentally aww'ing at how adorable they were together. 

Calum wished he could have a relationship like that...

"Well... what are we gonna do for the rest of the day? It's only 5:30,"Luke asked. 

Ashton sat for a minute before finally asking, "What do you wanna do Calum?" 

Calum turned to face Ashton, who laid a pen and a notebook in his lap. 

"You can write it on that if you want," he said. Calum nodded and took the pen.

It doesn't matter. it's not my house... and I'm not even a part of your group...

Ashton looked at it and sighed. "Well... any ideas Lukey?" he asked giving Luke a hopeful look.

Luke only shrugged his shoulders and laid back against the couch, resting his head on Calum's shoulder. On instinct Calum wrapped his arms around the tiny boy's body and pulled him closer. 

Ashton watched all of this. "Well you guys seem close," he said, eyebrows raised. 

Calum and Luke simply nodded and stayed in their position.

"Why don't we all just go out tonight. Like, I don't know, is the movie theater open on Thursday?" Michael asked, finally lifting his head from Ashton's shoulder.

"Yeah it is. But what would we watch?" Ashton asked, looking at his boyfriend questioningly. 

Michael bit his lip, thinking. "What about that new movie, Project Almanac? It looked really cool," he asked. (A/N- This movie isn't even out yet, but I really really wanna see it. Oh my gosh!!!)

"That sound great, Mikey. What do you guys think?" Ashton asked Luke and Calum. 

Calum nodded his head, which was now resting on top of Luke's.

"That's good, and I um... I need to go h-home and get clothes, Mikey. You told me I was staying here with you tonight when we were in class," he said nervously.

Calum noticed how the others tensed up as well. And from the way Luke stuttered on the word 'home' he I new it had something to do with Luke's home life. Now he was really worried for the blonde boy.

"I'll go with you," Michael announced and Luke looked at him thankfully. Michael shot him a sympathetic look back and reached out his hand for Luke to grab.

Luke nudged Calum and Calum moved his head. Luke grabbed Michael's hand and stood up, giving both Calum and Ashton a kiss on the cheek before Michael pulled the shorter boy into his side protectively. 

"We'll be back, guys. Ash, look out for Calum while we're gone. We'll be back in 20 minutes tops... if he doesn't hold us up when we get there," Michael said, whispering the last part to himself.

"Okay, bye babes. See you when you get back," Ashton said before they walked out the door and to the car.

Ashton then looked at Calum with a small smile on his face. He grabbed Calum's hand and turned his body towards him. 

"So... we're alone... what do you want to do while they're gone, babe?" he asked. Calum blushed brightly and bit his lip. 

This was gonna be a long 20 minutes...


	5. Chapter 5

The twenty minutes went by surprisingly fast, and Calum and Ashton had been having fun. Calum even laughed a few times, which felt so amazing to him since he hadn't laughed in so long. 

Their conversations didn't get too personal, and this was honestly the most fun Calum had had in a while. He was happier than he's been in a long time.

Until Luke and Michael got back...

Calum was listening to some story Ashton was telling him about something crazy he, Luke, and Mikey had done one time, when Michael carried a sobbing Luke inside.

He walked through the doorway and sat down on the couch next to the one Calum and Ashton were sitting on.

"Please calm down, baby. I know it hurts, but please. You're gonna make me cry, love," Michael begged.

Luke only cried harder. Michael sighed and pulled Luke's beanie off to run his fingers through the blonde's hair, knowing that usually calmed him down.

He ran his hand through once, pulling his hand back when he felt a wetness on his fingers. He gasped, looking at the blood on his hands.

"Lukey, did he make you hit your head? You're bleeding," Michael asked, concerned.

Luke nodded and whimpered. Michael moved his hair until he found the spot, closing his eyes in relief once he saw it wasn't as bad as it could've been.

"Hold on, love. I'm gonna lift your shirt okay? I need to see what else he did."

Luke nodded slowly, still crying but trying to calm down. Michael lifted the end his shirt up and looked under. There were too many bruises to even count. He could feel tears brimming in his own eyes.

"Oh God... okay... okay. It's okay, darling. You're okay now, I promise. It's over. You'll be fine," he whispered into Luke's ear, hugging him close.

Calum didn't know what to do it say during all of this. He sat, wondering what could've happened to the poor boy, who he thought would never have a breakdown like this. He also noticed how Ashton didn't jump up and try to help. He wondered why...

Michael shifted slightly and Luke moved a bit along with him. That was when Ashton snapped. There was a large bruise covering Luke's neck in the shape of a hand.

Ashtin shot up out if his seat. "I'll be back," he announced angrily. He was out to kill.

Luke, who had calmed down some by now, shook his head and went after him.

"Ashy. Wait, I'm okay now. See? I'm fine. Please don't leave. I don't want you to get hurt, Ash. Please don't leave," Luke begged and hugged Ashton, trying desperately to make the boy stay.

He knew how mad Ashton was. Ashton was about to go to Luke's house and try to set things straight, but well... violently. Luke couldn't let that happen. He honestly wasn't okay at all, but he would not let Ashton risk getting hurt over him. He knew how sensitive Ashton was about situations like this, since he went through very similar things himself earlier in life.

Ashton took a few deep breaths and looked at Luke's pleading face. That was all it took for him to calm down.

"Don't expect me to not take my ass over there next time. There better not even be a next time," he whispered and Luke kissed him gratefully.

"Thank you. I don't want you to get hurt, Ashy. Please don't ever try to do anything. He would just get you too," Luke pleads, his now dull grey eyes staring into Ashton's hazel ones. 

Ashton nodded his head and picked the boy back up bridal style. He carried him back over to the couch. 

Luke, still sniffling, looked to Calum and gave him an apologetic look. 

"I'm so sorry you had to see that. It's just... a lot happened and I ju-" Calum cut him off, when he wrapped his arms around the blonde. 

Luke, shocked that Calum had initiated the hug, hugged him back tightly and smiled to himself, laying his bruised cheek on Calum's fluffy head.

Calum pulled away and kissed Luke on the cheek, giving him a sad look. Luke smiled sadly and looked away, running a hand through his own hair, noticing it wasn't bleeding anymore thankfully.

Luke sighed and laid his head in Calum's lap, feeling extremely tired now and not wanting to worry about anything else. Calum started running his fingers through Luke's hair and Luke smiled sadly.

"Can we just not go anywhere tonight, guys? I feel really bad, please stay here with me," he asked, slightly begging.

Michael and Ashton both nodded, knowing their baby probably didn't feel like doing anything else, now that every thing had happened.

"Of course, Lukey. We know you're tired. It's only 6:30 though. That's a little early for you to be sleeping, even if it is a school night. And you shouldn't be trying to sleep right now anyway. You hit your head and it was bleeding. You could have a concussion, and you really need to stay awake," Michael explained. Luke nodded sadly, his head still in Calum's lap. 

"Well guys... what are we gonna do?" Ashton asked. Everyone shrugged. He sighed. "I say we all cuddle for the rest of the day and watch stupid cliche romance movies."

Luke, Michael, and Calum looked at each other. Luke and Michael nodded, but Calum only looked away. He wasn't a part of this, they would probably just take him home.

"You're coming with us Calum. If you want to... if you don't want to stay we can take you home. But it would be nice if you stayed," Ashton said, giving Calum a hopeful smile. 

Calum looked to the others and they smiled, as a way of saying they wanted him to stay as well. 

He slowly nodded his head and bit his lip. They all cheered. Even Luke.

"Okay. I'll go make popcorn and stuff and you guys go pick out movies," Michael ordered.

Luke sat up from Calum's lap and stood up. Ashton and Calum got up behind him and started walking towards the stairs. Ashton unexpectedly picked Luke up and Luke wrapped his arms around Ashton's neck, looking at him thankfully. 

"Thank you. I really didn't feel like walking up the stairs. Everything hurts," he said. 

Ashton kissed him quickly. "I could tell. You were limping and wincing the whole time. Why didn't you just ask?" 

Luke shook his head. "I didn't want to bother you," he whispered. 

Ashton smiled at him sadly and they continued walking up the stairs, Calum trailing behind like a lost puppy. 

Ashton kicked open Michael's door and sat Luke down on the bed. He held his hand out to Calum. 

"Come on, babe. Lets go look for movies," he said, making Calum's heart flutter at the pet name.

Calum blushed and grabbed his hand shyly. Ashton gave it a squeeze, letting him know he would be okay, and they walked back downstairs to the gaming room Michael's family had in the basement.

Somewhere along the way, Ashton's arm ended up around Calum's waist, but neither of them were uncomfortable by it. Calum leaned into Ashton's side and let him guide them to the room with the DVDs. 

They got there, picked out a few movies (enough that would last them all night) and walked back upstairs. 

They passed by the kitchen, where they heard a thump. It sounded like plastic hitting the ground. 

Calum pulled away from Ashton and walked into the kitchen. Michael was standing on a foot stool, trying to get a really big bowl that was on the very top shelf. He had somehow managed to make every other bowl fall in the process. 

He heard the kitchen door close behind him and turned around. "Hey Calum. This is the only bowl in the houses big enough to fit enough popcorn for all of us, and I can't reach it. Luke is tall and can usually get it for me, but he can't right now. And I don't want to bother him over something this unimportant. What do I do? We don't have any higher foot stools," Michael asked desperately. He looked up at the bowl and sighed.

Calum walked over and Michael moved off the foot stool. Calum stepped on it and jumped up so that he was in his knees on the actual counter. Then he reached up and grabbed the bowl, handing it to Mikey, and jumped back down. He started picking up the bowls scattered across the floor and putting them all back in the cabinet.

"Why didn't I just do that?" Michael said to himself. Calum smiled and shrugged. 

"Thank you Calum. I'm slow sometimes. I really didn't think to jump on the counter," he said, mentally facepalming. 

He sat the large purple plastic bowl on the island and poured all four bags of popcorn he had popped into the bowl. 

"Okay, let's go upstairs with Luke and Ash now," he said, eating a few pieces of popcorn already.

And that's all they did all night... watch movies, eat popcorn, and cuddle, until they all fell asleep together. 

Calum never felt more loved and welcomed than he has with them...

"Thank you guys so much," he whispered aloud.


	6. Chapter 6

When Calum woke up the next morning, he realised everyone was gone. 

Of course they left... no one wants to stay around me for too long.. maybe I should just sneak home before they get back.

He thought to himself. He looked down, noticing all he had on were his boxers and the sweater he had on yesterday. 

He slowly got out of bed, looking for his jeans and dreading the walk home. He knew he would be in serious trouble when he got there.

He found his pants and was about to put them on, when Ashton walked into the room. He walked up behind the kiwi boy, who hadn't noticed him yet, and wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"Hey baby. I was just gonna come wake you. We have to get ready for school, love. Do you want to borrow some of Michael's clothes or do you want me to drive you over to your house to pick some up?" Ashton asked, picking Calum up and sitting him back on the bed into his lap.

When Calum opened his mouth but hesitated to answer out loud, he looked Calum in his eyes. "I heard what you said last night, love. I know you can talk. And I know you don't like speaking, but you can talk to us. You know Luke, Mikey, and I. And I don't wanna force you, but just know you don't always have to write down what you want to say. You can just... say it out loud. I think you have a cute voice. The lisp makes it even more adorable," Ashton told him.

Calum blushed. One of the reasons he didn't talk was because of his lisp. Ashton, on the other hand, thought it was adorable. This was really new to him.

He took a deep breath and responded. "Ok-kay.. I'll t-try," he stuttered out. 

Ashton gave him a tiny smile and hugged him. "Okay... I'm glad you feel comfortable enough around us to try talking to us. It makes me feel special," he said giggling. "Now, we're you going to borrow some of Michael's clothes, or do you want some of your own? They might be big, but it is kind of cold out, so they'll keep you warm."

"C-can I borrow M-Michael's cl-clothes please?"

Ashton nodded. "Sure. He already had some picked out for you just in case. He really likes you, you know? We all do," Ashton admitted. 

Calum looked down, blushing a deep red. He shook his head. There was no way they liked him. But he decided not to say anything.

"I'll be right back. Let me go get your clothes and a towel and stuff. Or do you want to shower later tonight?" 

"N-now," Calum answered. Ashton nodded and was about to get up and get Calum every thing he needed, when Michael walked into the room arms full of toiletries and extra clothes.

"Hey, babe. Did you sleep okay? I'm sorry you woke up alone. I hope you didn't get worried or anything. But, here are your things. Umm... I couldn't find any jeans that would fit you. They all looked too big, so I gave you tights instead. I hope you don't mind. And the sweater is also very big... it will probably reach the tops of your knees. But it was the smallest one I had," Michael said. 

Calum smiled shyly at him and took the items from his arms. "Th-thank you," he whispered. Michael looked at him shocked.

"You.. you said something. Calum... you actually talked. Oh my god! Your voice is so freaking adorable!" Michael exclaimed. Calum blushed. 

Michael hugged him tightly, causing the shorter boy to flinch at the unexpected embrace, but he hugged back nonetheless. 

"Okay. I just got excited. I'm sorry. You can shower now," Michael told him. Calum nodded and headed towards the connected bathroom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Calum was done and dressed, he looked at himself in the mirror like he does every morning at his house (he can't call it home because well... it's not) and picked out his flaws.

He looked at how fat he was. There was so much extra fat that he had to get rid of. He hated it so much. 

He looked at his face and hair. Even he knew that he wasn't attractive in any way. His hair was an unruly mess of raven tangles and curls. His eyes were a terrible shade of dark brown that made them look black and colorless. They once were a lighter brown color, but not anymore. 

He even thought about his annoying voice and stutter and lisp. Ashton and Michael apparently thought they were adorable... but he knew they were only saying that so that he wouldn't feel bad. Which only made him feel worse. 

There were so many things about him that were just terrible. If he could change everything about himself, he would. He just hated himself that much. 

He looked up again and noticed he was crying. He didn't want to cry, but he couldn't help it. He tugged a beanie onto his head and tried to stop his tears, but they kept coming every time he looked up at himself. What he saw.... he didn't like at all. He hated everything. He wiped his tears with his sleeve (Michael was right, it was a really big sweater that reached the top of his knees and slightly hung off one shoulder and over both hands) and took a deep breath. But the tears kept falling. By now he was beginning to dig his fingernails into the skin on his wrists. But then he jumped and panicked.  

(A/N- I PROMISE I MEANT NONE OF THAT!!! I FEEL SO BAD FOR WRITING IT!!! CALUM AND THE OTHERS ARE ABSOLUTELY PERFECTION I FEEP SO BAD!!!)

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Calum... are you okay in there? It sounds like you're crying." It was Michael. 

Calum tried to compose himself and he unlocked the door. Michael slowly walked in and took in the boys appearance. At first he thought the shorter boy looked absolutely adorable in his clothes (which were extremely oversized on him, but a cute oversized) but then he noticed the boy trying to wipe away his still falling tears, and he acted on instinct.

He pulled Calum into his arms and hugged him tight. He didn't say anything at first. He just let Calum cry. Then he finally started asking questions. 

"What's wrong sweetheart? Did something happen? Do you feel sick? We can take you home if you want us to. You don't have to come to school. It's Friday anyway. You don't have to come if you don't feel well,"Michael suggested. He felt Calum tense up when he mentioned taking him "home" but he didn't comment on it. 

Calum's arms hesitantly wrapped around Michael's torso. He shook his head. "I'll be f-fine. Pl-please don't m-ma-make me go h-ho-home," he practically begged, not meaning for that to slip out. 

Michael picked the boy up and carried him to the room, slightly worried at how light he was. Kind of like Luke... 

He sat on the bed with Calum in his lap. He quickly kissed the boy's cheeks, blotchy from the crying. "What's wrong darling?? Please tell me love," Michael practically begged. He wanted to help, but he didn't know what was wrong.

Calum shook his head again. "N-n- nothing. I just... had a m-moment of s-self hatred. I'm fine. I'll get o-over it," he explained.

Michael could tell the now pale boy didn't want to talk about it right now, so he just nodded and rubbed the raven haired boy's sides, Calum relaxing into the touch and almost immediately calming down. Michael decided to keep that in mind for later.

Once he knew Calum was okay, he checked the time and nudged Calum a bit. "It's 8:50 right now. Class doesn't start until 9:45. Ashton and Luke are waiting for us downstairs. Are you hungry? We were going to stop by a really good bakery to get chocolate chip muffins for breakfast," he explained to Calum.

"Not h-hun-gry," Calum whispered, refusing to look at Michael. 

"Okay, but... please eat something. Lukey never eats a whole one, maybe you two can share," the red haired boy suggested. Calum looked into his pleading eyes and gave in. Michael smiled brightly.

"Okay, I just don't want you to be hungry," Michael insisted. Calum nodded. He hadn't eaten in days, of course he was hungry. But from what he saw in the mirror... maybe he should wait a few more days before he eats more than a simple snack.

Calum reluctantly nodded his head, giving Michael a kiss on his cheek, and let the red head lead him downstairs where Ashton and Luke were waiting...


	7. Chapter 7

Michael, Ashton, Luke, and Calum had all stopped by the bakery and were now eating muffins. Like planned, Luke and Calum shared one. Luke didn't finish his whole half, but Calum did.

"Do I have to eat the rest, Mikey?" Luke asked, his stomach churning from the amount of food he had eaten. Luke hadn't eaten more than two bites of an apple in about a week and his body wasn't used to the food yet.

Michael looked at Luke sadly. "Please eat it? For me? You need food, love," the red headed boy pleaded. Luke slowly nodded and ate the rest of the muffin. He took a few deep breaths when he was done, feeling a bit better and less lightheaded than he had all week.

"Thank you baby," Ashton whispered, looking at the blonde boy with a fondness in his eyes. Luke sighed and sat back in his seat, trying to adjust to the food in his stomach. Calum stared at him, feeling very symapthetic and understanding what the boy was going through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They pulled up to the school and Calum felt extremely nervous. If people saw him with Michael or Luke or Ashton, would they try to hurt them too. Calum couldn't risk that. He would feel even worse about himself if they got hurt.

They all got out of the car and Luke wrapped his arms around Calum's waist. "If anyone gives you any trouble today, just text me okay, love. I don't want you getting hurt. And believe it or not, some people here are afraid of me. One time someone tried to hit Mikey and I nearly killed the guy. I was suspended for a week. I won't let anyone hurt you okay,"  Luke said seriously. Calum nodded, feeling somewhat better.

"Alright well, we have three minutes to get to class. I suggest we go now," Michael said. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Okay. Come on Lukey. Bye Ash. Bye Cal. We'll see you guys during lunch," Michael said as Luke waved at them and dragged Michael off to class.

"Okay. Let's go Cally. Don't wanna be late." And Ashton dragged him down the hall to their first class

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They day had actually been great for Calum. Of course, Ashton was in all of his classes so he wasn't lonely. He went to lunch with the others and no one had messed with him all day. Calum's life had never been better... until the end of the day during their last class period.

Ashton had forgotten his geography book in his locker, which was on another hall, and had to leave Calum to go get it.

"I'll be right back. I promise. If anyone tries to hurt you, just yell okay. I'll hear it," Ashton said and walked off to get his book.

Calum leaned against the locker, playing with the bottom of his (well Michael's) sweater, not looking up so that he wouldn't have to look any one in the eyes.

Ashton had only been gone for a few seconds when Calum got slapped and pushed into the lockers. 

He bit his lip, still not looking at who the person was and wrapped his arms around himself trying to prevent being hurt anymore. But of course, because Calum's life is just plain terrible, it happened anyway.

"Still won't make a sound I see," the guy taunted, pushing the small boy against the lockers again. "I've seen you finally made some friends though. You know they're only talking to you because they pity you right? Who would honestly voluntarily talk to a cutting mute freak?"

The guy grabbed Calum's wrist and lifted the sleeve of his sweater, revealing all of the cuts and burns running in jagged lines across the boy's wrist.

Calum felt tears well up in his eyes and tugged his wrist back, quickly pulling the sleeve down again before anyone else could see, though there was a small crowd around now, only about five or six people at the most.

"Oh so it's true. Well I'm not surprised. If I were you I'd probably cut myself too," the guy taunted. 

And Calum couldn't help it. A few tears slipped from his eyes and he hid his face in his hands. 

"Keep crying you worthless emo fag. It's not like anyone cares anyw-"

He was cut off. And a painful groan fell from his lips. Calum wiped his eyes and looked up... Luke 

The boy, the fragile and broken and depressed boy Calum saw last night, was no longer there. This looked like someone completely different. Luke was ready for a fight, and he would go for the kill if he had to.

"I swear if I ever hear anything like that come from you again to anybody, I will fucking kill you. If you ever touch Calum like that again you'll regret being born, and if I don't kill you myself you'll wish you were dead because I will cause you so much pain. It will only be as much as you caused any one else though. You'll know what it feels like then," Luke taunted. "I suggest you get the hell out now before I change my mind about letting you go this time," he said in low voice. 

The guy nodded quickly and ran off, clearly scared. Luke glared at him as he went. When he disappeared around the corner, Calum was embraced by three pairs of arms.

He relaxed knowing the only three people it could be. 

"Are you okay Calum? I told you to just scream if anything happened and I'd be there. I'm so sorry Calum. I wasn't there for you when you needed me," Ashton said hugging Calum around his waist tighter than the other two boys. Calum only shook his head. He knew it wasn't Ashton's fault.

They all pulled away from the embrace and stood staring at each other for few seconds until Ashton reminded them they had class.

"Oh yeah. I forgot. Come on Lukey, we can't be late. Bye Ashy, bye Cally," Michael said, giving them both a hug before grabbing Luke's hand and preparing to lead them to class. But Calum leaped onto Luke and stood on his a tiptoes wrapping his arms around Luke's neck. 

"T-thank y-ou," the shorter boy whispered. Luke arms looped around Calum's back and he kissed the boy's cheek. 

"It's fine. You don't have to thank me. I just.. I don't like when people I actually care about get hurt," Luke explained. And Calum felt his heartbeat speed up just a little when he heard Luke technically say he cared about him.

Calum nodded and pulled away from the hug, walking back over to Ashton's side. They watched as the more students fled down the hallway quickly to their classes. They all hugged once more and did the same, each pair going in the opposite direction. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of their day went fine. Nothing else eventful had happened and no one had gotten hurt.

They drove back to Michael's house, not knowing what to do for the rest of the day.

"So what now guys? Are we just gonna do nothing all day?" Michael asked.

He looked at the boys oh the couch. Calum and Ashton were sitting down and Luke was laid across their legs. Calum had his fingers running through Luke's blonde hair and Ashton was rubbing his hands up and down Luke's legs. Luke looked like he was about to fall asleep but was forcing himself to stay awake. And no... they did nothing yesterday. They have to do something productive today.

"Well... maybe we can go get ice cream or something. But we can't just sit here like we did yesterday. Yesterday we had a reason, but today we don't. I'm bored. I wanna go somewhere," Michael practically whined. 

Ashton looked his boyfriend who was standing and the other two sitting beside and across him. He nodded his head. "Yeah. That's not a bad idea, babe. Ice cream is always nice. I say we go," he encouraged. 

Luke reluctantly nodded his head and sat up. He pulled Calum (whom he had grown extremely fond of) into his lap and Calum relaxed against him instantly, not tensing up like he normally would. 

"What do you think Calum?" Luke asked, burying his nose in Calum's neck.

Calum nodded his head. "It's f-fine," he whispered, even though he knew he probably wasn't going to eat the ice cream anyway.

"Yay! Okay, come on then guys. Ashy, you're driving."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They decided to just go to Dairy Queen and get the ice cream since it was closer than Baskin Robins. 

Michael got the m&m blizzard, Ashton got the smores one (A/N- This like my most favorite thing to get from Dairy Queen. IT IS SOOO GOOD) and Luke and Calum got the basic Oreo blizzard.

They didn't eat inside the fast food restaurant and ate their ice cream whilst in the car instead (except for Ashton since he's driving). Michael was eating his fast enough so that it didn't melt, Calum was eating his at a decent speed yet slower than Michael, and Luke was barely taking small bites of his own. He didn't know if his stomach could handle it since he ate a whole half of a muffin this morning. Luke could practically feel himself getting fatter.

Calum saw the pained look on the boy's face as he ate each spoonful of ice cream. He nudged Luke gently. Luke looked at him, trying to hide the fact that he was forcing himself to eat by giving him a small smile.

Calum shook his head. "Are y-you okay?" he whispered. He knew Luke didn't eat much and that he had an eating disorder, so having eaten twice today must be getting to him.

Luke decided not to lie and shook his head. He wasn't okay. "I feel sick. But I don't want to make Mikey upset by not eating it," the blonde whispered, lying his head on Calum's shoulder. 

"He'll un-understand of y-you d-don't want it," Calum whispered back, lying his own head on top of Luke's. 

Luke nodded sadly and ate a little more of the now melting ice cream. He sighed as he felt it hit his stomach, making him feel worse. He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths, only opening them when Ashton asked a question from the front seat.

"Is there anywhere else we need to go while we're out?" he asked. 

"Ummm... Ashton, you haven't been home in a while. Maybe we can stop by and see Alex and Jack," Michael suggested. "I'm sure they would love to meet Calum."

"Okay. I'll probably be in so much trouble for being away for so long, but yeah. I miss them," Ashton replied, turning around and driving to what Calum assumed was his house.


	8. Chapter 8

Calum was fidgeting on the whole ride to Ashton's house. He was nervous about meeting anyone else, though it didn't take him long to get used to Luke, Ashton, and Michael. But adults are different. His encounters with adults have never been good. 

The ride there was shorter than Calum had hoped for it to be. He was playing with the bracelets under his sweater sleeves as the car began to slow down to a stop in front of a two story grey house. 

Luke noticed the nervous actions and kissed his cheek softly. "It's okay, Calum. Alex and Jack are extremely nice and I'm sure they'll adore you," he tried to reassure the nervous boy.

Calum nodded and grabbed Luke's hand. Luke squeezed it and opened the car door to step out, gently tugging Calum along with him.

Ashton turned to them and looked over to Calum. He could also see the nervousness in the raven haired boy's eyes. He waited for them to catch up with him and Michael at the stairs to the front door. 

"Are you ready Calum? They're really nice I swear," he told the boy honestly.

Calum only grabbed Luke's hand tighter and pressed himself against him more. He nodded slowly and bit his lip.

"Don't worry love. You don't even have to talk if you don't want to okay," Michael added. 

The smaller boy nodded his head again and took a deep breath. He knew he had to meet them now. There was no turning back. Plus Ashton seemed so excited about Calum meeting his guardians (since he didn't have real parents) and he couldn't disappoint a boy who had already done so much for him despite only knowing him for about two days. 

They all slowly walked up the stairs and Ashton pulled out his key, unlocking the door and letting them all inside. 

"Ashton you idiot! Is that you?! You haven't been home in nearly three days! Where the hell have you be- Oh... hey guys and new friend. Ashton who's this?" one man with blondish brownish hair said. Another taller guy walked up behind him.

"Yeah Ash, who is this new friend of yours? Or boyfriend I don't know?" the tall one with black hair asked.

Calum bit his lip shyly and pressed himself further into Luke's side. Ashton saw the action and spoke up for him.

"Guys, this is Calum. He's really really shy and doesn't talk much. He barely says anything at all until he trusts you, so don't say or do anything stupid around him. Anyway, Calum this is Alex, the shorter one, and Jack, the one with dark hair. Alex and Jack, this is Calum," Ashton introduced.

Alex and Jack both smiled timidly at Calum. Calum bit his lip and gave them a tiny wave with his sweater covered hand, gripping onto Luke. 

"Hey it's fine Calum. We don't bite. Only Ashton sometimes, but that's only when he's being irritating," the one named Alex joked.

It made Calum smile shyly and nod, loosening his grip on Luke a little. 

"He's adorable, Ash. Found yourself another keeper," Jack commented making both Ashton and Calum blush brightly.

"Oh.. um.. we aren't dating. Though I do hope we can one day. I like him a lot," Ashton admitted, making Calum go even redder. 

"Awww that's sweet. I hope so too," Jack said, placing his hands over his heart dramatically.

Ashton rolled his eyes at the two. "Whatever. We're going up to my room. I'm sorry for not coming home in a while," he said, walking up to each man and hugging him tightly.

"It's fine Ashton. We get that you like spending time with your boyfriends okay? We aren't mad," Alex promised.

Ashton kissed each of their cheeks and nodded. "Thank you. I love you guys," he said.

"Yeah yeah. We love you too," both guys said at the same time causing Ashton to smile sweetly at them.

"Alright guys, come on. We have to show Calum around," Ashton announced, leading them up the stairs and into his room.

They entered and Calum took in the setting. It was similar to Michael's room, but this room's main color pattern was navy blue and black.

There was a large bed in the center pushed back against the navy blue poster covered walls with a blue and white striped comforter on top.

There was a desk in one corner with a MacBook Air sitting atop it. In the other was a chest of drawers and picture frames were sitting at the very top of it. 

The room overall was very plain but also had a home-like feeling. Calum absolutely loved it. His own room at his house doesn't even feel as homey and comfortable as this.

Calum felt arms wrap around him from behind and he turned in the person's arms.

"So... this is my room. Do you like it?" Ashton asked. 

Calum nodded and wrapped his arms around the curly haired boy's neck to stand on his toes and kiss his cheek.

"It's r-really nice h-here. I-I li-like it," he whispered shyly. 

Ashton smiled down at him and kissed his nose. "I'm glad you like it. It's not much, but it's my home and I love it a lot," Ashton admitted. "Plus I decorated myself... not to brag or anything," he joked.

Calum giggled and instantly turned red upon the sound escaping his lips. His giggle was so horrible.

"Aww that was cute!" Luke said from where he was sitting in Michael's lap on the bed. He had been watching the two the whole time and couldn't get over how adorable they acted together. 

Both boys blushed and smiled shyly at each other. Ashton grabbed Calum's hand and dragged him to the bed to sit with the other two.

"So are we staying here tonight or going back to Michael's house?" Ashton asked. "I really want to stay."

"We can stay here, Ashy. We know you haven't been home in a while," Michael answered for all of them.

Everyone nodded in agreement. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other's presence, when Jack popped his head into the room.

"Hey guys. Alex and I are leaving and we didn't know how long you were gonna be here or if you were staying, so we left money on the table for pizza and anything else. Be nice and don't do anything sexual," he said and glared at them all jokingly before leaving the room.

Ashton rolled his eyes and giggled at Jack's playfulness. He didn't know what he would do without Alex and Jack. 

"Alright. Somebody order the pizza. I'm hungry," Michael announced causing everyone to laugh as his stomach rumbled and Luke to get up and grab the phone.

They could all tell, tonight wasn't going to be like last night.

Tonight every thing would finally be okay....


	9. Chapter 9

"I want more but I can't eat it because I don't want to explode," Michael complained as he stared at the last untouched third box of pizza.

Out of the sixteen slices eaten, Michael had eaten one whole pizza alone. Of the other eight slices, Ashton ate four, and Luke and Calum had surprisingly eaten two slices each.

"Shut up Mikey. How the hell do you stay so skinny?" Ashton questioned curiously, poking his boyfriend's bony hips and flat tummy, causing him to squirm.

"I don't know. Something about a high metabolism. Which is good because I don't wanna have to stop eating anytime soon just so I won't become overweight," he said.

Luke was laying with his head on Calum's chest as the two layed back on the bed. He honestly only ate two slices of pepperoni pizza because he wanted to make the other boys proud. He knew he had a problem and wanted to get better. But now he felt sick.

All he could think about was when to get the fattening food out. It didn't belong in his already chubby stomach and he just wanted to get rid of it.

He buried his nose in Calum's neck to stop himself from getting up and running to the bathroom.

Calum noticed the action and felt Luke's grip on his sweater tighten. He looked down at the blonde who had an uncomfortable look on his face and was biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Wh-what's wrong, L-Lukey?" Calum whispered quietly.

Luke removed his face from the boy's neck and looked up at him with sad eyes.

"I'm fine Calum. Don't worry," he whispered back.

Calum stared at the boy for a while before reluctantly nodding his head. Luke sighed in relief. He had hoped Calum didn't think anything was wrong with him. He didn't want the kiwi boy to worry about him. He wasn't worth worrying over anyway...

Michael and Ashton looked over at the two cuddling boys and smiled. They were happy Calum was comfortable enough with them to spend time with them like this.

They inched over to them. Ashton wrapped his arms around Calum's tiny waist from behind as Michael did the same to Luke.

Luke turned around in Michael's arms and let out an unexpected whimper.

"What's wrong baby?" Michael asked, concerned.

Luke shook his head and wrapped his arms tightly around his stomach. Michael knew what the problem was now.

"Lukey, how much did you eat?" he asked quietly, stroking Luke's sides gently.

Luke sighed. "About two slices," he whispered back.

Michael furrowed his eyebrows and sighed. "Baby, you never eat that much. Why?"

"Because I wanted to make you guys proud by trying to get better," the blonde whispered sadly.

"Luke, you don't have to force yourself to over eat for us. We want you to get better too, but we won't shove food down your throat every time we eat. We don't want you to make yourself sick, love. Your body isn't used to so much food at once yet. Please don't stuff yourself when you don't even want to eat just to make us happy. We love you anyway," Michael tried to assure him.

Luke bit his lip as a tear slipped out and nodded slowly. He just wanted to be perfect like the others. Even though Michael said they would love him no matter what, he still knew he wasn't good enough for them.

Luke slowly pulled himself from his boyfriend's embrace and walked out of the room and into the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Calum came in after him. He walked over to the taller boy, who was sitting on one of the spinny black chairs at the island, and wrapped his arms around him from behind.

Luke spun his chair around and launched himself into Calum's arms. Soon, tears began falling from his pale blue eyes.

"Wh-what's wrong?" Calum asked, tightening his grip on the sobbing boy.

Luke shook his head and took a deep breath. "I just want to be perfect like you guys are. I want parents who actually care about me and don't beat me everyday. I want to be attractive like you and Ash and Mikey are. I don't want to have this eating disorder anymore. I don't want to have to cry myself to sleep every night. I just... I want to be like you, Ashton, and Michael. I want to be perfect. But I'm not and I never will be," he poured out, tears still streaming quickly down his face.

Calum sighed and pulled the crying boy closer.

Luke wrapped his arms around Calum's neck and his legs around his waist, trying to get as close as possible.

"I-it's okay, L-Lukey. I th-think you're perfect," Calum said honestly.

Luke only shook his head, but he held on tighter and sobbed harder. He knew Calum was only saying that to make him feel better and stop crying so much.

They stayed in that position until Luke eventually calmed down a bit and his tears slowed but didn't fully stop.

He pulled back but kept his arms loosely wrapped around the kiwi boy's neck.

Calum lifted one hand from Luke's waist and wiped away his still flowing tears.

"Are y-you okay n-now?" he whispered to the boy.

Luke shook his head and a broken sob escaped his lips once more and he hid his face in his hands.

Calum shook his head and removed them. He looked at the blonde for a moment, deciding whether or not to do it...

The decision was yes... he had to do this.

Luke felt soft, plump lips against his. He gasped in shock at first, but eventually kissed back passionately. His tears had stopped.

They pulled away when they heard the kitchen door open. There stood a completely shocked Michael standing in the doorway. Ashton soon appeared behind him.

"You guys have been out here for a while. What have you been doing?" Ashton asked, having not seen what Michael saw but had a clue because of the position the boys were in.

"Awwww, that was so cute!" Michael exclaimed. Ashton rolled his eyes and smiled fondly.

Luke and Calum blushed furiously and Luke buried his face in Calum's neck, biting back a smile.

"Lukey, have you been crying?" Ashton asked, always observant.

Luke looked over at him and nodded. "Yeah, I was. But I'm okay now. Calum helped me," he said, shooting the kiwi boy a shy smile.

Luke hopped down from the chair and walked over to the other two boys, pulling Calum along with him.

Michael wrapped his arms around Calum's waist. "So when do I get my kiss? Everyone's gotten theirs but me," he whispered to the now flustered boy.

Calum blushed a deep crimson and stood on his toes, giving Michael a quick kiss on his cheek.

Michael chuckled at the action and kissed Calum's nose. "We all really like you Calum. You know that right?" Michael asked seriously.

Calum didn't nod 'yes' or shake his head 'no'. He simply wrapped his arms around Michael in a hug and sighed. He hoped the color haired boy was telling the truth.

All four of them walked back up to Ashton's bedroom and cuddled back up on the bed, completely in content.

Even though tonight wasn't as perfect as they had hoped, they still ended it absolutely happy. It was perfect enough for them...


	10. Chapter 10

Calum was awoken the next morning by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He knew he should check it, but he couldn't force himself to get up from the embrace of warm yet bony arms, which he knew belonged to Luke.

In Luke's arms he felt safe. He felt loved. He had never felt either of those things before now, and he never wanted it to end.

But of course, Calum never got what he wanted and his phone continued to vibrate in his pocket.

He reluctantly got up out of bed and took his phone out, checking his messages.

His face paled when he saw who they were all from... his father.

He opened the first one.

Wher the hell haev u ben?! Get ur ass bck home now! Maybe I wont mke it so hard on u if u buy me a drink or two

Calum cringed. His father had finally notice he was missing and was already drunk out of his mind this early in the morning.

He knew he had to get home without having the boys drive him. They would probably never want to even look at him again if they saw his living conditions at his house. They would think he was disgusting.

So instead, he snuck out. He threw on his shoes and jeans, since he woke up in only Michael's sweater, and sneakily tiptoed down the stairs and out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took him longer to get home from Ashton's house, one reason being he didn't even know exactly where he was. But he unfortunately made it back anyway.

He sighed and took a deep breath before walking towards the steps to his old, grey, worn down house.

He opened the door and was instantly hit by the smell of alcohol, making him scrunch his nose in disgust.

Calum looked around quickly, seeing the condition of the house. There was a pile of dirty dishes in the sink and clothes scattered everywhere. There were tons of alcohol bottles and beer cans all over the floor and on every table. Broken glass was spread all over the kitchen. The whole house was a wreck.

Calum sighed, wishing he could be back in Ashton's room, cuddling with the boys while they were still peacefully sleeping, but it was too late for that now.

He snuck in quietly and tiptoed over to the sink, running water to start washing dishes and added in soap. He started washing the dishes, his mind going back to the boys and wishing he was still there with them.

He was nearly finished with the first chore, when a figure walked up behind him and wrapped their arms tightly around his neck.

"So you finally decided to bring your ass back?" his dad slurred. Calum struggled in his grip and clawed at his arms, unable to breathe.

Calum's dad, David, threw the small boy against the kitchen counter, causing him to scratch the side of his face against the table and hit his head against the cold, hard, wooden floor of the kitchen. Calum whimpered in pain, only to yelp loudly once he felt an impact against his ribs as his father's shoe slammed against his side over and over again.

Warm blood trickled down his cheek from the scratch and his father snatched him up again by his sweater. Calum felt lightheaded.

A rough hand slammed across his face. "I know you haven't been home because you tried avoiding me. Well guess what? That's never gonna happen, son, so don't try it again. And where the hell is my beer?" David yelled at his barely conscious son.

Calum, unable to keep his eyes open any longer, passed out just as his dad threw him to the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nearly half an hour later, Calum regained consciousness. He was sprawled out on the kitchen floor lying in a pile of broken glass. There was dried blood on one side of his face and his whole body ached. He tried pushing himself up, only to feel a sharp pain in his left side, and fell to the floor again. He whimpered in pain and laid in the floor until his father came into the kitchen again with a beer in his hand.

"Oh so your finally awake? Get your worthless ass up and go fix yourself. Then get back and finish your job," he slurred out, then walked back to wherever he came from. But not before kicking the boy once more.

Calum whimpered in pain and forced himself up to his feet, leaning on the kitchen table for support.

He slowly limped to the stairs and crawled up on all fours, too weak to walk up them.

He collapsed once he reached the bathroom door and laid on the floor, completely exhausted.

But once he heard footsteps, he got up and crawled the rest of the way into the bathroom and closed the door, locking it behind him.

Feeling his phone vibrate, he reached back and grabbed it from his pocket.

All of the messages were from Ashton, Michael, and Luke. Luke had sent the most.

Lukey: Calum where did you go? Please come back...

Lukey: We're all really worried about you please at least text one of us...

Lukey: Why did you leave anyway? Were we not good enough??? Was I not good enough?

Lukey: I really feel like crying... please call back soon

Lukey: I miss you Calum... I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you to stay... I can change I promise.. please just come back

The last one honestly broke Calum's heart. Of course he wanted to go back. And Luke was more than enough for Calum to ever want. He was perfect. But he couldn't go back. The boys could do so much better than him.

Calum sighed, holding in his tears, and turned on the shower water. He pulled himself up, using the sink for balance, and removed his (Michael's) sweater. Luckily it wasn't stained with his blood from the scratch. Then he removed his jeans, leaving him only in his boxers.

Like nearly every morning, he looked at himself in the mirror, picking out all of his imperfections. He was disgusted by the sight.

He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as he looked at the huge bruises forming from the events that took place earlier. And as he observed himself, he realized something.

Ashton, Michael, and Luke... they were all too good for him. He was just an abused, ugly, stuttering mess. The boys probably only talked to him because they pitied him.

A single tear fell before he quickly wiped it away, only to have more stream down his face. He couldn't stop them. So he cried.

As he cried, he looked for the one object he hadn't touched in nearly a whole week... his razor.....


	11. Chapter 11

Calum reached into the back of the medicine cabinet where he hid his tiny box with razors. He took one out of the box and ran its sharp edge against his finger gently, not hard enough to actually cut him yet.

He sat with his back against the wall and lifted his hand so that the blade was hovering over the untouched spot on his left thigh that he was about to mark. As soon as he lowered his hand and the razor barely grazed his skin, there was a banging on the door.

"Open this damn door now! You've been in there too long already! Get the fuck out and clean this goddamn house like you're supposed to!" Calum heard his father slur from the other side of the door.

He felt tears gather in his eyes. He tried to keep quiet, hoping that he would just go away.

But instead the knocking just got harder. "If you don't unlock this door I swear..." he started.

Calum pulled himself up and reluctantly unlocked the door. It immediately swung open. His father grabbed his arm roughly and yanked him to his feet.

Calum tried to keep his balance and braced himself for whatever was about to come next. His dad pushed his back against the wall again, banging Calum's head against it.

Calum groaned in pain, trying to keep in his tears and just wanting everything to be over. The impact came again.

"Worthless piece of shit," his dad shouted at him, making him hit his head a third time. "All you've done for the last nineteen years is made my life harder. Why haven't I killed you already? Or better yet, why haven't you done it yourself? You have nothing to live for." His dad smashed his head against the wall a few more times before finally quitting.

Calum let out a loud sob at that last comment. His father was right after all. He had nothing else to live for. What his father didn't know was that if he had waited a few minutes later, his wish would've already come true. He would've found his son lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of his own blood. He probably would've laughed and left him there anyway.

After his body had been slammed into the wall more times than he could count and more insults had been thrown at him, everything stopped.

But of course it wasn't over.

His dad held him up against the wall by his neck, using his arm to pin him to the wall.

Calum struggled to breathe, clawing at his dad's arm and trying desperately to get him to pull away.

His father kicked him harshly. "Stop struggling bitch," he hissed, pressing against his neck harder.

Tears rolled down Calum's face as he tried to gasp in a breath of air. His sobs shook the room.

"P-please," he stuttered out, barely audible. That was the first word he'd said to his so called father in years...

He was panicking now. He couldn't breathe. He began to twitch and shake and wheeze and he felt lightheaded. More tears streamed quickly down his already tear stained cheeks. His breaths became short and choppy. His pulse began to slow down. Maybe this would finally be the end.

But then he was let go and he fell to the floor, still shaking and gasping for air.

His dad kicked him in his stomach again. "Stop faking and clean yourself up bitch," he slurred again before finally leaving and slamming the door shut behind him.

Calum fell to the ground, trying desperately to regain his breath. He weakly crawled over to the sink and opened the cabinet, taking out the lighter he left under there.

Then he took out his bracelet with the metal beads attached and held it over the flame, his hands still violently shaking and making it hard for him to hold it in place.

He held it there until he thought it was hot enough, then slumped against the bathroom wall. He took one shaking hand and held the burning hot bracelet above his other wrist. He took a deep breath and pressed the hot metal against his skin, his breath hitching from the pain but soon going back to normal. The pain slowly brought him back from his panic attack. His shaking was soon ceased and his breathing was no longer wheezing but regular breaths.

The pain, feeling so good, gave Calum the urge to finish what he had started before his father barged in.

He shakily stood up in front of the mirror, looking at his old scars and burns and wanting desperately to add more. He stared at his body, thinking about how fat he was and how much he deserved the newly forming bruises.

He soon began crying again like before, realizing how undeserving he was of the boys who had somehow made it into his life over the past three days.

He knew now that no matter what he could never go back to them. They would eventually realize just how worthless he was like his dad said.

His sobs began to get louder again. He sat on the closed seat of the toilet and picked his razor up off the ground where he had dropped it before. He bit his lip hard and steadied the razor above his thigh once again.

But this time, he pressed down hard and watched as little beads of blood came up through the slit he just made in his skin. The pain felt so good...

He did this several more times on both legs before moving to his wrists, which had been unmarked for three days.

As he starts on his wrist, he presses down deep. Almost too deep. Blood begins pouring out of his right wrist and he feels it sting as his tears drop from his eyes and into the cut. He did the same to the left, trying not to go as deep this time. 

When Calum started feeling lightheaded from the blood loss, he decided that was enough for the day. He turned on the shower water and waited for it to heat up then stepped in. 

The hot water burned his newly made cuts. Calum hissed in pain but continued to stand under the spray of the water.

He showered quickly, trying not to let too much soap get into the open cuts, and stepped out of the shower. 

He wrapped his towel around himself, looked in the mirror at himself in disgust, and walked cautiously out of the bathroom and into his own room in search of clothes.

He quietly closed the door and limped over to his tiny closet that held the few clothes he owned.

He pulled out a large black sweater, that was long enough to hide his new scars since it covered his hands, and a pair of light grey skinny jeans with holes in the knees. 

He bandaged his thighs first since they would be the quickest. He then carefully slipped on his jeans over the bandages, wincing as they rubbed against the cuts.

Then he started on his wrists. They still had tiny droplets of blood spilling out along his arms and hands. He grabbed his towel again, dabbing off the warm blood, then took the gauze and started wrapping both deeply cut wrists, pulling tightly so that the pressure would stop the bleeding.

Calum pulled his sweater over his head. Though it was huge and hung off one shoulder, it was warm and he loved it. It was one of the only sweaters he had that wasn't ruined by his own blood.

Calum limped over to his bed and laid down. His phone, which had been tossed in here by his father after his beating, was vibrating on his pillow. Luke was calling him.

He knew he couldn't answer because he didn't want to hear the boys yell at him for leaving like that. Another reason was that they were calling not texting. Calum didn't think he could physically force himself to speak right now. If he opened his mouth, all that would come out would be silent sobs.

He ignored it. They would all eventually get over him anyway. No one usually stays with him too long.

Calum felt exhausted. Though he was and his eyes were threatening to close, he decided to avoid more beatings for the day and get up. 

He limped out of the room and down the stairs, almost falling on the way down due to his legs nearly giving out, and into the kitchen to begin cleaning up the mess. His dad was asleep on the couch, and as long as he didn't make too much noise, he would stay asleep until the next day.

Calum sighed, looked at the mess once more, then started cleaning the floor of the shattered glass. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about two hours of cleaning, Calum was finally done and was more exhausted than he was before he started. All he wanted to do now was sleep. 

He headed upstairs to his bedroom and plopped down on the bed. As he laid there, he noticed a light flashing on his bedside table. It was his cell phone.

27 unread messages.

He opened them.

Mikeybear: Calum please answer us... Luke cried for so long and has been so worried about you. We all have. You don't even have to come back if you don't want to.. we just need to know you're okay.

Ashy: Calum please come back.. we really miss you..

Ashy: At least call and tell us you're okay. What did we do wrong? Was it me?? I'm so sorry for whatever it was. Please just let is know that you're fine.

Lukey: Cal... we really miss you. I really miss you. You helped me so many times even if you didn't know it Calum. I need you here. Please Calum please come back. I don't know if I can keep going without you...

Mikeybear: Whatever we did to make you leave.. I'm so very sorry. It hurt you bad enough to make you leave without telling us first and I don't even know what it was but I regret it so much. If you decide to never come back or talk to us again... just know we love you.. we all honestly really love you Calum.. I'm sorry. You might just delete this without looking at it first but if you did read this I just hope you can believe it and come back... I'm done talking now. This probably did nothing but annoy you...

Calum's heart broke. He couldn't believe they all thought that way. There was no way he could ever hate them nor did they do anything to make him leave. But there was also no way they could ever love him either. He was just a burden to them all. That's why he knew he could never go back.

As he thought about this, Calum soon drifted off to sleep with thoughts of the boys he loved but could never love him back running through his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Calum woke up the next morning to a loud banging on his door. He quickly got up, hoping his father wasn't going to beat him if he answers quick enough.

But as soon as the door was open, a large, rough hand collided with his face, making Calum stumble back. He held his cheek in his hand and sighed quietly.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to close this damn door?" his surprisingly sober dad yelled at him.

Calum bit his lip and didn't answer, knowing the man would only hit him for stuttering even when he couldn't help it.

"When I talk you answer me bitch!" his father screamed.

In a rage, he pushed Calum to the floor and pressed his foot down on the boy's stomach. He then repeatedly kicked Calum in his side and laughed loudly. 

"Don't fuck things up more than you already have. I'm going to work." He walked out of the room and down the stairs, making his way to his car for work.

Calum laid on the floor for a while, not knowing if he could stand since he was still sore from yesterday and now from a few seconds ago. Tears rolled down his face as he sat up and began dragging himself to the bathroom in search of his razor.

He knew he couldn't live like this any more...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A next door neighbor, who had heard the yelling from earlier, decided to come over and make sure everything was okay.

She knocked on the door, which was actually half closed since it flew open as her hand made impact with it. 

Slightly worried, she walked the rest of the way into the house. 

"Hello? Is anyone in here? The door was open," she called out cautiously.

A thud was heard from upstairs. Confused, she slowly walked up there to see what it was.

The first two rooms were completely empty. The woman walked the rest of the way down the hall to the very last room and stepped in, surprised when seeing no one there.

She noticed the light on in the bathroom across from it. She knocked first, receiving no answer. 

Then she turned the knob. She let out a scream loud enough for the rest of the neighborhood to hear, nearly passing out at what she discovered.

Her neighbor's son was lying out cold, barely breathing and pale, in a pool of his own blood with a razor still his other hand....


	12. NOT A CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To continue or not to continue??

Heeeeeey, guys (assuming anyone is still reading this). So, if you can’t tell by my username, I’ve sort of… switched my interests, I guess you could say. While I do still love 5SOS and their music, I’m just not that into them anymore; however, this story is all finished (rather messily) on Wattpad, but I’m not opposed to finishing uploading it here as well if anyone actually wants that. 

I know it’s been a long, long, long, loooooong time since I updated here, and I’m about 97% sure no one will read this, but I was reading through the comments left on the last chapter, and I felt kinda guilty for leaving everyone on a cliffhanger like that lol. 

Anyway, I hope whoever reads this has a great, fantastic day/night. Bye y’all :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you do want me to update the rest of it here, be sure to let me know and I’ll get on it as soon as possible.


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to popular demand (read: three comments lol) I’m going to finish uploading this story onto AO3. Reading back through it, I see now how poorly written it was and still is (and I still suck at writing now honestly), but I’ll finish it here anyway. It’s horribly edited, but I hope you enjoy anyway :)

Luke, Michael, and Ashton barely made it through the rest of the weekend. They didn't know where Calum was or if he was okay. They couldn't just go back to the way things were before they met Calum. Now a part of them felt empty, a vacant space left by him.

Now it was Monday and they were at school, sitting in their spot under the tree, all hoping they would see the raven haired boy and beg him to come back.

Five minutes pass with no sign of Calum at all. Then ten minutes, then fifteen, then the bell rang and they had to give up.

Luke, who had been the most worried about Calum the whole time he'd been gone, was close to tears when they began walking to class. Ashton was the first to notice.

"It's okay, Lukey. Maybe he's just a little late and he'll show up during class later. Don't cry. He has to come back eventually," he tried to reassure the teary eyed blonde.

Luke only nodded slowly and leaned against Michael. Michael wrapped his arm around Luke's waist and gave Ashton a quick kiss.

"Text us if you see him today. We'll see you at lunch okay. We love you," Michael said. 

Ashton nodded and walked inside the classroom, sitting alone today since Calum was missing. He watched as more and more students came through the door, none of them being the one person he was hoping for. He sighed as the bell rang and class began.

Today was going to be a long, lonely day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lunch came and passed with still no sign of Calum, and eventually class was over. Of course all the boys were extremely upset, but Luke was the worst.

Instead of waiting for the other boys to go to their lockers then take him to his last like they always do, Luke walked off to his locker alone and put his books in, pulling out his phone and calling the boys when he was done.

"Lukey, where did you go?" Michael asked from the other end.

Luke sighed. "I'm gonna leave without you guys to see if I can find Calum anywhere. I really miss him and I need to know he's okay. I promise I'll be back before we eat dinner," he said, hanging up before they could protest. 

"So, I heard you're looking for that mute fag," Luke heard a voice say from behind him.

He rolled his eyes and turned around to face the guy. "Yeah I am. But that's none of your business is it?" 

"I don't know who you think you're talking to, anorexic freak," the boy retorted, making Luke snap.

He charged forward, punching the guy in the face and making him stumble backwards into someone.

The person pushed him forward into Luke and they both collided into the lockers. Calum's bully then kneed Luke in his stomach. Luke doubled over in pain and clutched his empty stomach. 

As the guy threw more punches at him, Luke began to feel lightheaded. He didn't know whether it was from not eating since Calum left, getting punched in the stomach, or both.

Luke was slammed back into the lockers again, hitting his back on one of the locks and crying out in pain.

Just as he was about to black out, the blows stopped and Luke felt arms around him to keep him up.

He was slightly aware of fading red hair and tear filled green eyes. 

"Lukey, don't close your eyes. Did you hit your head?" Michael asked frantically.

Luke shook his head slowly.

"B-back and stomach," he whimpered. Michael nodded and looked around the crowded hallway for his other boyfriend.

He spotted Ashton pinning the guy who just beat Luke up by the neck against the lockers. His lips were turning a blue color from lack of oxygen, but Ashton only pressed down harder.

"Ash stop. He's not worth it," Michael called out to him.

Ashton looked back at him and his face softened as he saw Luke in Michael's lap in pain. He then turned to everyone else, who all stared at him in shock. No one had ever seen Ashton, of all people, so furious. 

"All of you leave," he said forcefully. Everyone ran off, seeing as it was time to go anyway.

"I'll carry him to the car. You just calm down, okay Ashy? I'll be back," Michael announced to his still red faced boyfriend.

Ashton nodded and watched as Michael carried Luke out the door to their car.

When he came back, Ashton was calmer than before but still pissed off at the guy who had hurt Luke today, the same guy who had been hurting Calum for years.

Michael gave Ashton a quick kiss on his lips and pulled the shorter boy closer to him.

"Ashton I have never seen you act like that before. What happened?" he asked.

Ashton shrugged. "I guess I just felt like I had to get him back for hurting two people I loved. First Calum, then Lukey. I just got really mad. I'm sorry," Ashton admitted. 

Michael nodded and hugged him around his waist. "It's alright. I've just never seen you act that angry before. Now let's get Lukey home. He's hurting really bad."

~~~~~~~~~~~

They pulled into the driveway at Michael's house and unlocked the car doors. 

"I'll carry him inside. You get the bags out the car," Ashton said and got out the car, walking to the back where Luke was laying across the seat.

He picked the blonde up and gave Michael a quick and thankful look when seeing he had already opened the front door.

He carried Luke upstairs into Michael's room and laid him on the bed.

"Lukey, wake up. We have to fix your cuts and bruises," he whispered, shaking Luke gently.

Luke's eyes fluttered open and he sighed. "My back hurts," he whispered.

"I know babe. Roll over onto your stomach for a second please," Ashton said. 

Luke did as told and Ashton lifted his shirt, noticing first how prominent his spine was. He sighed deeply. They really needed to get Luke to start eating more. 

He lifted it a little more and found a large round bruise, extremely close to his spine. 

"Oh wow. That's really bad," Michael mumbled to himself when he walked in. "I'll go get some ice."

Ashton nodded and laid down beside Luke.

"Hi," Luke whispered, giving his boyfriend a tiny smile and forgetting about his pain for a few seconds.

"Hey," Ashton whispered back and kissed Luke's nose, making him giggle.

"I know you guys aren't being all lovey and cuddly without me," Michael announced as he walked back in with the ice.

He placed it on the dark purple bruise on Luke's back and Luke shivered from how cold it was. Michael laid on the other side of Luke, wrapping his arm around the boy's tiny waist. 

They all laid in a comfortable silence, but then Luke spoke up.

"Do you guys think Calum might come back?" he asked sadly. 

Ashton and Michael sighed. 

"He has to come back to school eventually, so I know we'll see him there. Unless he dropped out. He had really good grades though, so I doubt he did that. I don't know if he'll come back to us though," Ashton explained.

Luke nodded sadly. He knew he needed Calum. He didn't know about the other two, but missed the small kiwi boy a lot. He would do anything to get him to come back.

"Well, let's order pizza, do our homework, and hope Lukey feels better by tomorrow and Calum comes to school so we can talk," Michael suggested. 

"Sounds like a plan," Ashton agreed and Luke nodded along.

"Okay, great," Michael said and walked down stairs to grab their bags and order pizza.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Luke didn't feel much better, and though he insisted he was fine, Ashton stayed home with him and Michael went to school alone.

He had no luck in seeing Calum that day either.

On Wednesday, Luke's back was still badly bruised, as was his stomach, so Michael stayed home with him this time and Ashton went to school alone. 

Calum's name was called for attendance, but he wasn't there in any class.

By Thursday Luke was better and they all went to school together, but still no sign of Calum.

Now it was Friday. Ashton, who had all classes with Calum, knew he hadn't dropped out because they still called his name for attendance every morning which meant he was still enrolled.

Luke and Michael had looked around the halls for him and even stopped by his locker in hopes of seeing him there, but they had no luck.

By the end of the day, all of them were more worried than ever. Calum hadn't been to school all week and he didn't answer any of their calls or texts, not that they expected him to do the last thing, but they were still worried.

"Maybe he's just been really sick," Michael tried to reason. 

"I don't know. Maybe we should ask. I'm sure the nurse would know since all that information would go to her," Ashton said.

Luke and Michael nodded and they headed to the nurse's office before it was time for her to leave.

They knocked on her door and she opened it, having to look up to see them since she was a really short person. 

"Oh hello. How can I help you boys? It's almost time to leave so if you're sick you can just go home without a note from me anyway now," she told them.

Michael gave her a polite smile. "I'm sorry ma'am, but that's not why we're here. We're all fine, but can we ask you a question about one of our friends?" Michael asked politely.

"Yes, dear. Go ahead," she said.

Luke sighed. "Our boyf- our friend, Calum Hood, hasn't been to school all week. We were wondering if you knew why. Has he been sick or anything?" Luke asked.

The nurse's face instantly dropped. "You're his friends? Why didn't anyone tell you boys...?" she said trailing off at the end.

Luke was panicking now. "T-tell us what?" he asked frantically, tugging on his sweater sleeves.

Michael pulled Luke into his side and hugged him close to calm him down.

The nurse took a deep breath and sighed sadly. "Darlings, I'm so sorry. Calum is in the hospital. He tried to commit suicide on Saturday morning," she explained in a sad voice.

Luke buried his face in Michael's neck and let out a broken sob. Michael and Ashton looked at each other, tears filling their eyes, and decided not to cry right now and stay composed and calm for Luke. 

"Th-thank you for telling us," Michael whispered, ready to walk away.

A small voice stopped him. "W-Wait, can we please go see him?" Luke asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon the school nurse informed them on which hospital Calum was in, they quickly got in the car and began driving there.

Despite Luke's protests to speed and get there faster, Ashton drove the speed limit he should have and they got there within fifteen minutes.

Luke was the first one out of the car and into the building, Michael and Ashton hurriedly running after him.

He luckily waited for them at the door inside. Ashton grabbed his hand and Michael walked them all to the desk. 

The lady looked up at them with a smile. "Hello are you visiting or are one of you sick? You all seem healthy," she asked politely.

"Visiting," Michael answered for them.

"Okay, just give me the patients name and, depending on their condition, I'll let you know of you can visit or not," she said and got her hands ready to type on the computer in front of her.

"Calum Hood," Michael stated, hopping they could see him.

The woman's smile dropped as soon as she heard the name. "Oh, that poor baby," she whispered to herself and then began typing the name into the computer. Her frown deepened when seeing the results.

"What's wrong? Will he be okay?" Michael asked frantically.

The lady sighed. "I'm so sorry boys. They told us no one would even be here for him...," she took a deep breath. "Calum tried to commit suicide on Saturday morning. When he got here, he was barely breathing. He also had a nearly collapsed lung and some internal bleeding. There were bruises all over him and he had new cuts and burns that weren't even from the suicide attempt everywhere. He's in the intensive care unit right now. He had to have surgery done because of the internal bleeding and he's in a coma. Not a medically induced coma, but one his body put itself in. He can't have visitors right now, but you can wait in the visitors room. Since no one we contacted at first came for him, his doctor told me to inform the first people here about his condition and to let them back. I'm so sorry boys," she finished, close to tears herself.

Luke was crying harder than before. Michael had joined in but tried to hold his tears in. 

"What room?" he asked in a shaky voice. 

"Room 109 on the second floor. Some signs are around to help you get there," she told them, giving them all a sad smile as they walked towards to elevator. 

When they got in and pressed the button Michael and Ashton, who had stayed calm the entire time, had finally broken down. 

Ashton tried to cry silently and walked over to a corner, turning away from the other two boys. Michael let out a loud broken sob and hid his face in his hands. 

Luke sniffed and pulled them both closer to him, forming a group hug.

"He'll be okay guys. Calum is strong. I know he is," Luke tried to reassure them. He knew they were extremely upset about this since they hardly ever cried. He put his own feelings and tears aside for now to help them.

They stayed in their huddle until the elevator doors opened and they walked out, following the signs with room numbers like the lady at the front said, and made it to Calum's room.

A nurse walked by just as they made it there. 

"Oh hello. You're here for Calum Hood? They told us no one would show up. I'll show you to the waiting room," she said, walking to the door right in front of the one Calum was in.

"Here it is. A doctor will be here shortly and you might get to see the patient later." She sped out, looking rushed, and walked down the hall to another patient's room where a family was waiting.

Luke, Michael, and Ashton all looked at each other and sighed. 

Now all they could do was wait...


	14. Chapter 13

Michael, Luke, and Ashton waited and waited for at least half an hour before a doctor finally came in and gave them information on Calum's condition.

"Hello boys. I am Dr. Stevens and you're all here for Calum Hood. Am I correct?" he asked as he walked in and shut the door.

The three boys nodded eagerly, ready to hear how Calum was doing.

Dr. Stevens nodded. "Well, I'm guessing the receptionist already told you boys what happened to the patient as that's what she was informed to do. I would like to let you know he is still in a coma, but if we're lucky, he'll wake up within the next three to four weeks," he said calmly.

The three boys gaped at him.

"Four weeks, that's an entire month," Michael said, his hope deflating a bit.

"I know boys, and I am so sorry. There's just nothing else we can do for him. We have noticed a few things about his injuries though. Would you be willing to answer a few questions about Calum and his personal life later?" the doctor asked.

Luke sighed. "We can try, but we really only just met him maybe two weeks ago. He wasn't that open with us," he explained.

Dr. Stevens nodded. "That's fine, but we need information. The condition he was in when he got here was horrible and it looked like some form of intentional damage. The injuries he had were some that I've only seen on abused patients. If Calum is being abused, we need to know by whom and because he's a minor we might even need get protective services to check his house and living conditions," he explained.

Luke's heart broke just thinking about Calum being treated the same way he is at home. Of all the people in the world, Calum, who was so small and sweet and innocent, deserved it least.

Ashton nodded his head and asked, "When do you think we'll be able to see him?"

Doctor Stevens looked at his chart again. "He seems stable enough to see him now. It should be okay for you all to go in at once, but you can't stay long. I'll send a nurse in about fifteem minutes," he told them.

The three nodded thankfully and walked across the hall to Calum's room, taking a deep breath before walking in.

Luke was the first one to fully step into the room and slowly walk over to Calum's bed. He nearly broke down at the sight of him.

Dark circles were under Calum's eyes. He had bandages covering both arms from his wrists to his elbows. There was a scratch on one cheek and a bruise on the other. A bruise the shape of a hand could even be seen all the way around his neck.

Luke couldn't look any longer. He ran back to Michael and Ashton and hid his face in Ashton's neck.

Ashton rubbed Luke's back and pulled him closer. "He'll be okay, Lukey. I know he'll be fine. He's a fighter, yeah? He's made it this long. He'll get through this," he said, trying to convince Luke and himself.

Michael wrapped an arm around himself and walked over to Calum's bed, doing the same as Luke but reaching out and touching Calum's hand. He breathed in a shaky breath and felt a tear slip from his eye, but he quickly stopped himself from crying. He was nearly positive Calum would be fine in the end, so he had no reason to cry... or so he hoped.

He sighed and shook his head, refusing to cry right now, and walked back over to his boyfriends. Ashton didn't pull him into a hug since Luke was clinging onto him, so instead he received a kiss on the cheek and a sad smile. 

He smiled back sadly and felt his tears being to fall. He wished he could have a hug now, but Luke was taking this harder than the rest of them, so he would be fine right now without one.

They all went to sit in the seats beside the bed, Michael and Luke cuddling up to Ashton. 

This was how they stayed for the next fifteen minutes: Luke sobbing with his face buried in Ashton's neck, Michael hugging Ashton's arm and letting a few tears silently fall down his pale cheeks, and Ashton trying to stay composed for the both of them. 

A nurse came in and told them their time was up. She smiled at them all sadly when seeing their teary eyes and sad faces.

They slowly stood up, Michael being the first one to walk out. Ashton held on to Luke as they walked out of the room. They stopped when they reached the nurse standing in the doorway.

"Do you think we could maybe stay a little longer? Please?" Luke spoke up.

The nurse looked at the chart then back up the them. "No, I'm so sorry. His condition is too unstable," she told them.

Luke and Ashton nodded reluctantly and walked out, now looking for Michael.

They heard loud crying in the waiting room and knew it had to be their boyfriend in there. 

When they opened the door, they rushed over to where Michael was, sobbing loudly with his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking as he cried. Luke pulled the red haired boy into his lap and hugged him close. 

Michael took a deep breath and slid back out of Luke's lap. 

"No, I'm okay. I just got a little over emotional, but I'm fine. Really, guys. Don't give me those looks," he said, forcing out a short laugh as he noticed the concerned faces he was receiving.

"Are you sure, babe? We get it if you're not fine," Ashton said, grabbing Michael's hand into his own larger one. 

Michael only shook his head. "No, I'm okay. Really, I am."

Luke and Ashton reluctantly nodded and they all stepped back out of the waiting room, meeting Calum's doctor on the way to the front doors.

"Oh boys, before you go, we need your numbers to put in Calum's emergency contacts list. Since no one else showed up for him, we will call you first if anything changes before the next time you visit," he told them.

They nodded and he wrote down all of their numbers, thanking them as they walked out the hospital and to their car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They made it back to Michael's house and all collapsed on the bed when they entered his room, all exhausted from the day's events.

They laid cuddled up to each other for what felt like hours until they heard Ashton's stomach grumble and all burst into giggles. 

"We need food, and I'm tired of pizza," Ashton announced, causing Michael to gasp.

"How dare you say that?" he yelled at his curly haired boyfriend, sitting up and smacking his chest. 

"Well, we've eaten it almost everyday this week, babe. I'm surprised you haven't gotten tired of it too." Michael smacked him again.

Luke smiled at the two fondly and sat up with them. He bit his lip, thinking of something for them to do about what they were going to eat (not that he was going to eat anyway unless he knew for sure he wouldn't gain any more weight) since Ashton was tired of pizza and Michael loved his pizza so much and was probably not willing to cook anything else.

"Guys," he started quietly, grabbing their attention, "maybe we could make like... a pizza salad." 

They stopped and looked at their blonde boyfriend for a moment, not only surprised that Luke was suggesting something food related even when he didn't eat much anyway, but also completely confused as to what a pizza salad was.

"Babe, what even is that?" Michael asked curiously, pulling the small boy closer to him by his waist.

Luke blushed. "Well, it's like a regular salad, but with things in it that you would find in pizza. You know, like mini pepperonis and cheese and anything else you eat as a pizza topping. Like, since you like Hawaiian pizza and pepperoni pizza, you would put like pineapples, cheese, and pepperoni in yours," he explained.

Michael and Ashton looked at him as if this were the best thing they had ever heard. 

"Alright, I guess the first thing we do is go to the store and buy the lettuce and cheese and pepperoni and stuff or we won't be able to make these salads anyway," Ashton said.

Michael and Luke nodded and stood up off the bed. They all walked down the stairs and out the door to the car. All they wanted right now was for something to take their minds off Calum for a while and just have fun with each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Making the salads wasn't hard, and they actually tasted amazing. Michael and Ashton were surprised Luke came up with this idea. 

When they were done, they took their salad bowls to the kitchen, leaving Luke alone with his bowl still in his lap.

Now that the boys were gone, Luke glanced around and sneakily threw away half of his salad, hiding it in the trash bin under the napkin he had.

He then got up and took the rest of his pizza salad to the kitchen with Ashton and Michael.

They smiled when they looked inside Luke's bowl.

"I'm so proud of you, Lukey," Michael whispered, instantly making Luke feel guilty. 

The blonde smiled back anyway and nodded, not trusting his voice. He walked back to the entertainment room and buried his face in one of the couch pillows. 

Maybe he could do this every time they ate so that he wouldn't have to eat so much. Ashton and Michael would think he was getting better and Luke would stay skinny the way he has always wanted.

Lost in thought about throwing away his food without the boys knowing, Luke was snapped back out of his trance by Ashton picking him up bridal style and carrying him upstairs. 

They all changed into their pajamas and got into bed early, wanting to get back to the hospital as soon as possible the next morning. 

As they all laid down, cuddled together under the blankets, they all hoped for the same thing as they drifted off to sleep... 

All they wanted was for Calum to be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael was the first to wake up the next morning. He was wrapped up in Ashton's arms, his back pressed against the older boy's chest. He sighed, leaning back against his boyfriend, and checked the time.

It was 9:57, nearly ten o'clock. Since they said they wanted to get to the hospital early, Michael decided now would probably be a good time to wake the other two boys up and get ready to leave.

He pulled himself from Ashton's embrace and sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes with one hand and grabbing a pillow with the other.

He smacked first Ashton then Luke with it. "Wake up, babes! We have to get ready to go see Calum!" he yelled at them.

They reluctantly sat up and gave each other morning kisses, then got up and headed towards the bathroom together, still half asleep. 

Michael could only smile fondly at them and roll his eyes. Then he got up to get ready himself.

Once they were all dressed and ready to go, they walked out the door with granola bars in hand to eat on the way there.

When they got there the were immediately allowed up to the waiting room. They sat in there until they got a signal from Dr. Stevens that they could go in and see Calum.

On their way in, Michael was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm telling you this right now and you may tell the other boys when you wish, but you seem like the least likely to break down, so I decided to tell you. We looked at Calum's condition yesterday and took more time to analyze it and based on everything we looked at, there is about a twenty-five percent chance of him actually waking up from this coma; therefore, I can make no promises that he will, but all we can do is hope for the best," Calum's doctor told Michael.

Michael stared at him, not wanting to believe it was true, but nodded and took a deep breath. 

"Thank you for telling me. I will tell the other two later," he said. Doctor Stevens nodded and walked back down the hallway to another patient's room. 

Michael entered Calum's room along with Ashton and Luke. Thankfully they didn't question why he talked to the doctor. 

Luke was sitting at the foot of Calum's bed, stroking his leg gently. He was pale and had an extremely sad look in his eyes, which were already glazed over with tears.

Michael sat in the other side and grabbed his free hand to comfort him, and Ashton wrapped his arms around the blonde from behind. Michael noticed Luke taking Calum's situation harder than the other boys it seemed. He was scared to know what would happen if Calum didn't wake up, for Luke's sake.

Luke sighed and released Michael's hand, standing up from Ashton's embrace and walking up to the head of Calum's bed. He stopped and grabbed the boy's cold, almost lifeless hand. He felt tears start to fall freely down his cheeks.

"I'm so so sorry this had to happen to you Calum. You didn't deserve this. No one does, but especially not you," he started, his voice shaky. "You have to wake up, Calum. I don't know what I would do if you didn't. I just..." Luke stopped, his breathing becoming erratic.

"Luke," he heard one of the boys call out. 

His grip on Calum's hand loosened. Luke felt his knees give out and he collapsed to the ground. He could hear people calling his name. He heard people rush into the room and wheels roll across the floor. He heard Calum's heart monitor speed up. 

That was the last thing he heard before everything went dark...


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh y’all, Want You Back is a whole bop and the last time I was this shook™️ by a song was probably during BTS’s last comeback lol.   
> Glad 5sos is back and hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> (I never do notes this is weird lol)

Michael and Ashton could do nothing but watch in shock and concern as Luke was rolled away to another room and Calum was being attended to by nurses.

One of the nurses rushed them out of the room and back into the waiting room. They sat down, trying to process everything that had happened in that moment. 

Michael was the first to let his tears fall. He threw himself into Ashton's arms and cried, something he had been trying not to do since hearing about Calum on Friday.

"It's gonna be okay in the end, Mikey. If it's not okay then it's not the end," Ashton whispered to him, hugging him tightly.

Michael let out a shaky laugh. "That sounds like something from tumblr or the Fault In Our Stars," he said, laughing again.

Ashton smirked. "It probably is, but you know it's true."

Michael nodded and pulled back slightly, staying in Ashton's arms.

"Do you think Luke passed out because of his eating disorder? He seemed to be eating more and getting better at home," the red haired boy asked. 

Ashton thought for a moment. "That could be one of the only reasons he just passed out like that. I'm sure he'll be okay though, Mikey. Stop worrying so much. You shouldn't need to worry until the doctor tells you something that gives you a reason to worry," Ashton said, running his fingers through Michael's hair and smiling at him. 

Michael nodded and snuggled into Ashton's side. 

And once again, all they could do was wait. Not for one person this time, but two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael ended up falling asleep in Ashton's lap. Ashton was left to his own thoughts, trying to stay positive with everything that's been going on.

His train of thought was broken when a doctor finally walked in almost two hours later. It was Calum's doctor, Dr. Stevens, with two clipboards in his hands: one for Luke and one for Calum.

"Well boys, it seems like you all have had some serious bad luck for the past few days, but the good thing is Luke is alright," he announced.

Michael had woken up by then. He slid out of Ashton's lap and into his own seat, ready to hear what else the doctor had to say.

"Now a few questions. Are you aware that Luke has anorexia nervosa?" Dr. Stevens asked. 

Michael and Ashton nodded. They had known for months now and had been trying to help him get better. As they can tell now, they hadn't been doing a very hood job.

Dr. Stevens nodded. "Okay, good. Do you know about how long he has had it, or how long have you known about it?" he then asks. 

"We've known for about ten months to a year. He told us right after he was diagnosed. We have tried to help him with it, but we didn't want to overwhelm him by shoving food down his throat," Ashton answers.

"Well, the reason Luke passed out is because he hasn't been eating; therefore, he hasn't been getting the nutrients his body needs to function. He was also very dehydrated. Luke is awake and stable now. We have weighed him and given him fluids to make sure he stays hydrated." Dr. Stevens ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath, shaking his head.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked urgently.

"Luke only weighs one hundred seven pounds. If his weight doesn't go up soon his entire body could shut down. We considered sending him to a rehabilitation center, but I honestly don't think he will improve there."

Michael and Ashton mentally cheered when hearing this. They don't know what they would do if their Lukey was taken away, even if it was to help him.

The doctor gave Michael and Ashton sad smiles and sat down across from them.

"Boys, I can tell Luke really trusts and depends on you. The first thing he did when he woke up was ask for the two of you. You may be the only ones that can help him through this," Dr. Stevens said.

Michael and Ashton nodded. They were determined to make sure Luke got better, now more than ever.

All three of them stood up and headed toward the door.

"I'm assuming he's still awake, so I'll take you to see him. Just follow me."

He led them to a room in the intensive care unit and opened the door. 

Luke was sitting up on the bed in a hospital gown. It was probably one of their smallest sizes, yet it still hung off one of his shoulders. He looked paler than normal, and his bones were so prominent you could count each one. 

From where they were standing, Michael and Ashton could see the tears rolling down his cheeks. Their hearts broke seeing Luke like this, and they rushed into the room. 

Luke's head snapped up. He let out a broken sob and held his arms out to them as they ran over.

Michael got to him first and instantly pulled the blonde boy into his arms. He tried to pull back, but Luke wouldn't let go. He sat down on the bed, pulling him into his lap.

Luke buried his face in Michael's neck. "I'm so sorry. I am so so sorry," he kept whispering, his body shaking with sobs in Michael's embrace.

Ashton came over and sat on the other side of the bed, rubbing Luke's back to calm him down.

Luke started crying even harder. 

"I'm so sorry this had to happen. I didn't mean for it to get this bad, I swear. I just didn't want to get fat. Please don't leave me," he begged, Michael and Ashton barely able to understand him since he was crying to hard.

Michael ran his fingers through Luke's blonde hair and tried again to pull away and look Luke in his dull blue eyes but failed.

"We're not going to leave you, baby. Don't be sorry this happened. We know you can't help it. I promise you we will try harder to help you, Lukey," he assured the blonde.

Luke's heart monitor sped up and his breathing became heavier. He was panicking.

Ashton grabbed the boy's smaller hand and kissed the back of it. "Please calm down, baby. It's okay, we're here for you, love. You need to calm down."

Luke's shoulders visibly dropped as he relaxed, his breathing slowly going back to normal. He was still crying, just not as hard.

Michael finally managed to break back from the smaller boy's grip and placed a quick kiss on his lips.

Luke sighed into the kiss. He had finally stopped crying.

The boys all laid huddled together on the hospital bed for the rest of the time they had together, not talking about anything. Just laying together happily.

It's not like everything was okay as they were in a hospital. If anything everything was going extremely horribly. They were only happy that Luke was alright for now, and they would make sure he got better.

They stayed in the same position until Luke fell asleep between his two boyfriends. A few minutes later, Dr. Stevens entered the room motioning for them to step out.

Once they made it out to the hallway, the doctor sighed. He looked down at another clipboard and then back at the boys.

"Well boys, now that you know Luke is somewhat okay for now, we should probably talk about Calum..."


	16. Chapter 15

Michael, Ashton, and the doctor went back to to waiting room and sat down, Michael and Ashton shaking their legs anxiously as the doctor checked his chart. 

"Alright well, good news and  slightly bad news. The bad news isn't exactly bad though so no worries," Dr. Stevens said. 

Michael let out an audible sigh of relief and Ashton managed a tiny smile. 

"I'll give you the bad news first. Calum unfortunately hasn't woken up from his coma yet, but the good news helps out with that. We aren't exactly sure what happened, but Calum's condition has improved by quite a bit. We are still pumping nutrients through his body to help keep him as healthy as possible while in the state he's in. He also no longer has to be on life support as he is now breathing on his own. One minor problem we had though, was that when Calum tried to commit suicide, he of course lost a lot of blood, but we have found a supply of the same blood type he has to help solve that problem. Overall, Calum is looking much better now," he told them. 

"If he's improved so much, how long do you think it'll be until he wakes up?" Michael asked hopefully. 

Dr. Stevens looked back at the chart. "If you boys are lucky, Calum should wake up in two weeks to a month at the minimum. That's only if you're lucky. You have to remember that Calum is in a coma, and anything could change at anytime," he warned.

Ashton and Michael nodded understandingly. All they could do was hope nothing went wrong and they could get their Calum back soon. 

Dr. Stevens kept talking. 

"There is one problem though," he started. 

"What? What is it?" Michael asked in a scared voice. 

"Even though Calum has been here for so long, we have not been able to contact any parent or relative of his; therefore, even if he does wake up within two weeks, he cannot be released from here until a parent or guardian signs him out since none of you are under his name in his emergency contacts or anywhere else. We need to get in contact with a relative of Calum's as soon as possible," the doctor said. 

Ashton sighed. "But, we've never even met Calum's parents before. We don't even know where he lives." 

"Has Calum ever said anything about them that you can recall?" Dr. Stevens asked.

Michael shook his head, but a look of realization shown on Ashton's face.

"What is it?" Michael asked curiously. 

"Do you remember that morning, the first morning Cal was with us, and you had to lend him clothes?" Ashton asked, his heart dropping with every word. 

Michael nodded slowly, wondering where this was going, and the doctor listened caredully to them. 

"When I asked Calum whether he wanted to borrow clothes from you or go home and get his own, he practically begged me not to drive him home to get his own. It was like, he was scared. I could just be paronoid, but..." Ashton trailed off. 

Dr. Stevens sighed. "Are you boys positive he's never said anything else about his home life?" he asked, writing down something on his chart quickly. 

Ashton and Michael nodded, then Michael spoke up again. 

"You could probably ask Luke though. He's closer to Calum than either of us," he said. 

"There is no need. With what you boys have told us, and with all of the injuries Calum had when he was brought in plus the fact that his parents won't answer any calls, I think our speculations were right about him," the doctor said. 

"And what were those speculations?" Ashton asked.

"We think that Calum might be a victim of abuse."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You should dye it yellow so that I can start calling you banana," Luke said as he laid in his hospital bed with Ashton on one side and Michael on the other. 

They were currently discussing what color Michael should dye his hair next. According to Luke, yellow would look amazing. Plus the nickname 'banana' sounded adorable to him. 

Michael smiled down at Luke, who looked as if he would fall asleep at any second, and ran his fingers through the boy's flat blonde hair. 

"Fine, I'll do yellow just for you, Lukey," he said quietly. 

Luke nodded and sighed, rubbing his eyes to fight off the sleep that was about to take over. Ashton leaned down and kissed his cheek. 

"Go to sleep, baby. You're dead tired and you need the rest," he told the younger boy. 

Luke nodded again, pulling the sheets of the hospital bed closer to him and dozed off instantly. 

Michael and Ashton each gave him one last kiss on the cheek before walking out of his room and down to the cafe to get some water. 

"Are you seriously going to dye your hair yellow?" Ashton asked incredulously. 

Michael nodded and chuckled. "If that's what our baby wants that's what he gets, right?" 

Ashton rolled his eyes fondly and nodded, pulling Michael closer to him for a quick kiss. 

After they got their bottles of water, Michael and Ashton sat down at one of the tables in the little cafe to talk about more important things than hair color now. 

"So, what are we going to do about Calum?" Michael asked, earning a sigh from his boyfriend. 

"I don't know. I kinda figured something was happening with Calum at home. I should've asked before, but it's too late now," Ashton answered, sounding disappointed in himself. 

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Ash. It's not your fault and you know it," the red haired boy told him. Ashton nodded reluctantly.

They were both silent as they finished their waters, contemplating on whether or not to stay or go home once they were done, and eventually deciding to go back to Michael's house and shower then come back to check up on Luke and stay in the waiting room until the next day. 

"Come on, babe," Michael said, holding out his hand for Ashton to grab it as they walked out of the hospital. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they arrived at Michael's house, they were half surprised but also not very surprised to see his parents' car in the driveway. 

"Michael Gordon Clifford, do you know how worried we were to come home and find out you're not here after we finally get back from our trip?" Mrs. Clifford, or Karen, yelled but pulled Michael into a hug anyway. 

Michael hugged back then moved on to hug Daryl, his dad, as Karen embraced Ashton in a tight hug as well. 

"Well, where is Luke? I've never seen you boys without him," she asked, honestly confused. 

Michael shook his head sadly and sighed, walking over to wrap his arms around his shorter boyfriend who also had a dejected look on his face. 

"Well, we have a lot of explaining to do about that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh Lukey, my baby!" Karen yelled as she rushed to Luke's side to pull him into a hug. 

Luke gave her a sad smile and hugged her back. When she pulled away, she had tears in her eyes.

"Why won't you just come live with us until we can get proof of what he's doing to you and saying to you and finally get protective services to believe us?" she asked, hugging the blonde tightly. 

"Because the last time you tried he destroyed the evidence and it just made it worse for me," Luke said sadly. "Besides this is all my own fault anyway. I'm not eating the way I'm supposed to and I can only blame myself for that."

"But Luke, the only reason you started this is because of the names he called you in the first place. Did you really think you were fat before the first the first time he called you a fatass? I am pretty sure you didn't," Karen said stubbornly. 

"But I was chubby," Luke whispered, looking down and crossing his arms over his stomach. 

"No, Luke, you were healthy, not chubby. We have to get you back healthy," Karen said, pulling Luke into a hug again. "I'm just glad you're okay for now. When can we sign you out?"

"I think he said in two more days," Luke answered. 

Michael's mom nodded and kissed Luke's cheek, patting his flat hair down in a motherly way. 

"I'll come to check up on you everyday, okay? I'm sure Michael and Ashton will after school, too. Don't worry honey, we'll get you back healthy soon," she assured him before joining her husband, their son and his boyfriend out in the waiting room.

"Now that I know Lukey is okay for now, what about the other one? What did you say his name was: Calum?" Karen confirmed and earned a nod from both boys.

"His condition was horrible at first, but he's stable now. I think you can go see him, but visiting hours are over soon," Ashton explained. 

"I can see him tomorrow. I just need to talk to his doctor and possibly one of his parents for now," Karen said. 

Michael and Ashton both paled. 

"Oh yeah... we might have left out that part," Michael started saying. "We don't exactly know Calum's parents, and they haven't been down here to see him since he's been here. No one can get in contact with them."

Karen nodded slowly, furrowing her eyebrows. 

"Do you know where he lives? I'm sure I could fix that problem," she said, now sounding determined and slightly scary. 

"We've never been to his house. Everytime we asked if he wanted to go home he would panic and turn down the offer," Ashton answered. 

"Yeah, I can fix this if I find out where he lives," Karen said thoughtfully. 

"Don't do anything stupid, honey," Daryl said, rubbing his wife's shoulder. 

"Mom, please listen to Dad. They think Calum's parents could have done this to him. You don't know how dangerous they could be," Michael said. 

Karen sighed and nodded. "Michael, love, you always pick the broken ones to fall for. No offense Ashton."

Ashton let out a breathy laugh and waved it off. 

Karen sighed and ran a hand down her face. 

"I'm not going to lie, I was really hoping to just relax once we got back from the trip and spend time with you boys, but I can see that's not going happen. Let me make it clear though, I don't mind having to do all of this at all. Even for Calum because I can see how much you guys love him," she said honestly. 

Michael and Ashton nodded. "We really do," they both said.

Karen nodded. "He and Luke will both be okay, boys," she promised pulling them into a tight hug. 

The boys gave her sad smiles and hugged back, not fully believing that everything actually would be okay but hoping it would be. They really hoped it would be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I haven’t read this story since like the first time I wrote and finished it and this is honestly horrible, but I’m glad you guys enjoyed this I guess?? I didn’t realize how bad it was when I first wrote it (and my author’s notes on Wattpad are so embarrassingly ugly). 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!! :)


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